Grandpa

My grandpa is going to die. That's what the doctors said. They gave him from a couple of days to a couple of weeks... I've been crying so much my head hurts. I could still call him in the hospital but I'm not sure if I'd be able to. It's too emotional and I don't want to cry on the phone with him. I imagine that'd make it only harder for him. Also he is in so much pain that I don't know if he'll be able to talk. And mentally he had a breakdown 2 days ago. It must be so horrible if you know that you are going to die and there is nothing you can do about it.

I'll call my grandma later today and see how she's doing. My parents said she cried so much that her whole face is swollen and she needs to put ice on it so that she can see something. It's so horrible, because it all came so fast. Angel was the only one that suspected something when we saw him last time. She says she could tell that he felt like it was his last birthday. I don't want to think about it. I can kind of get by, just kind of blocking it out and talking about it like a dry fact. Then at least I won't cry again.

Today is my dad's birthday party and they'll then tell the rest of the family. My family is very close and we care about each other a lot, so news like that will devistate everyone. I kind of wish that I could still go see my grandpa but he doesn't want that. I know him and I understand. He is a person that does not want to be a burden and he does not want people to be all upset and stuff. But of course we are, cause we really care about him.

Oh well in the end there is nothing that I can do about it. It's really hard but I guess that's life. I can be happy that everything else in my life is so great. I have wonderful girlfriend, who I plan to spend the rest of my life with, I'll have a job soon (gotta love job agencies and my CV is very impressive they said...) and everybody else in my family is healthy.

I'll write as soon as I know more about how my grandpa is doing or whether I could call him.

Bye for now.