Stopped counting bump-ins

If you're non-dutch, please ignore the post below :D It's just very accurate, it's so freaky.

I don't know what to write. I wish I could put down all the things I have in my head, but I can't. I also wish I wouldn't forget all those things in my head but I'm sure I will. It's frustrating. It's like you had an amazing dream and you wish you could remember it in detail but it's slipping away more and more until you can't even remember the feelings you had in the dream. It's like a plane in the sky, so far away that you can't see it when you look directly at it, but you can make it out when you look next to it, yet can't focus. You know it's there but it escapes being pinned down. Did I mention that it's frustrating? I. Can't. Put. It. Into. Words. Crap!

I'll go now and bonk my head into a wall.

Also, I know it frustrates Angel but I just don't think of myself as pretty, good-looking or gorgeous. I just can't. I hate myself, I don't wanna think about it. I kinda block myself out. Then when I'm confronted with people who seem to like me for whatever reason, I get freaked out and get all shy, eventhough I do want attention. I want people to like me, that's what I strive for. Yet when I get attention I feel all uncomfortable. Yet when I don't get attention I get all sad and want someone to notice me again. I'm so screwed up. Nice. :(