WIM'S REVENGE ON THE BIRD Alone in the station sat "der Wim", His countenance appearing quite grim. For he had taken a direct hit, As gravity acted on BIRD shit. Said he, "With From's Counter Gambit I'll nail him!" Gary O'Gut, Limerick Adviser to the Guild	LIMERICKAMANIA There was an old geezer from Pennsylvania, Playing chess gambits 'twas his mania. With a true romantic heart, For ratings gave he nary a fart. His motto: "Without pain there's no gainia." Der Geezer Gambiteer
CHESS LIMERICK FOR ST. PATRICK'S DAY Young O'Ryan was Canadian by birth, But his Irish blood filled him with mirth. Said the IRON MAN to young Steve, Of your senses, don't take leave. Rooks as dildos are far less than they're worth!! Gary O'Gut	APOLOGETIC LIMERICK Are those chess players finally done With their insipid limerick run? Hope none were offended, T'was never intended. For it all was meant in great fun! Gary O'Gut
THE CHILD-ADULT MOLESTER LIMERICK There was once an old Gambiteer Geezer, When playing ON Britney tried to squeeze her!? Said she, "When a child Were you always this wild?" Replied he, "Let's do it on top of the freezer!" Der Geezer, Grand OYA Oracle, Gambiteers Guild	THE OFFBEAT GEEZER GAMBITEER LIMERICK "Der Geezer" we love to lampoon, As he always ate soup with a FORK!? For he said, "As I eat Neither fish, foul, nor meat, I should otherwise finish too soon. Der Offbeat Geezer O'Gut
EASTER HAM ANTI-SILICON LIMERICK At Eastertide when asking a "Steve", For chess advice we geezers believe, Avoid the limerick-impaired Siliconscheisster. Inquire instead of the Minnesotan Schinkenmeister! When Ham analysis you wish to receive!! Gary O'Gut, dining "High on the Hog"	LIMERICK: ADVICE TO FRANKLIN Young Franklin was such a great tease, His attitude fresh as a breeze. His fetish was socks, His French Defense on the rocks. Said Der Geezer, try a gambit if you please!? Barry McBest
FRENCH DEFENDER LIMERICK French Defenders play with great limitation, Their play laced with sloth and hesitation. The queen side clerical guy Is destined to be quite shy. Proctologists say: A clear case of chess constipation! Dr. Pleese Bendova PS-French Defending patients please see my nurse/secretary Miss Britney for outpatient surgery appointments	THE ICCF CHESS MOTTO LIMERICK aka, "We are what we are!?!" Ye olde motto "Amici Sumus" If recanted may yet consume us. Yes, we are friends, Let's all make amends. Quoth Der Geezer, "Sumus Quod Sumus!?!" Barry Bonus, taking Latin levity liberties
LIMERICK: ODE TO MAX US chess in a state of pandemonium Was saved by Max from all acrimonium. Replied the said Max, While swinging his ax, "Do you wish a response Draconian?" Barry Bonus--a--um	In Ballestas happy was "der Wim", Appearing quite slim and trim. But the seabirds with guano, Challenged him "mano a mano". Alas, their aim hit "die Frau", not him!? Best from Barry, the Birdman of Ballestas
LIMERICK: Launch of Chess Samizdat For launching the site Chess Samizdat, We thank John highly, and a lot! To gain CC world respect, Then we geezers must elect The best, who else?---Tunc Hamarat!! Barry, going for the "best"--John and Tunc!	LIMERICK: Ode to SIM Gary Ruben Our Guild first board named Gary, Is certainly NO Tom, Dick or Harry! The positional play of Ruben, Reminds us all of the great Cuban!! As the specter of "The Woodsman" is quite scary. Congratulations from another Gary
LIMERICK: Ode to Wolfram Schoen, aka "Tungsten Fine" The play of Herr Tungsten Fine, "zu schoen um wahr zu sein!" In the hall of our guild, A statue we shall build, When on top of CC he's "ganz allein"!! Herzlichen Glueckwunsch zu deinem Erfolg! From all your fans and friends in the Guild of Gambiteers.	LIMERICK: Beer Chess at the Gambiteers Guild Our guild loves to play Beer Chess, #1 board is Karsten, why yes! Now please excuse me, For I must go pee. Else I play this game under duress!! Barry Beer Best, Bartender at the Guild of Gambiteers
LIMERICKS: ICCF Congress 2005 Version A Off to congress they go, Larry, Curly and Moe. You insult me, So I spit on thee. "Tit for tat" and "quid pro quo". Version B Off to congress they go, Intending new friendship to grow. Let's promote our great server With all might and fervor. All our blessings on thee we bestow! Barry, hoping for the "Best", ie. Version B!	LIMERICK: ICCF Congress 2005 Off to congress they go, Tongues wagging to and fro. Let's "Bring home the bacon", And be not mistaken, Members expect more than the "status quo". Der Geezer Gambiteer -- My apologies, but you see as we geezers advance in age and lose our sex appeal (and drive), we become more obstreperous!?
LIMERICK: ICCF Congress 2005 (auf deutsch--beinahe!?) Zum Kongress muessen sie gehen, Viel Probleme da zu sehen. Frage: Muess es sein? Antwort: Nein, nein, nein. Das Mitglieder sagen--"Ja, we're payin'" Der Geezer Gut, Besser, und am Besten PS--I shall probably get in trouble here, because I translate "Mitglieder" as "members"	LIMERICK: REVENGE OF THE GM There was a chessplayer named "Good". Most thought he merely pushed wood. According to Dave, He made a great save. As GM I will crush him as I should. GM Barry Best, better than "Good", and Mascot to the Guild of Gambiteers.
LIMERICK: Ode to Franklin Campbell, "Renaissance Man" J.Franklin, a man of renaissance, Never acquainted with nonchalance. Opined Alex Dunne, Franklin's number 1! Always giving a volunteer response. Congratulations! Der Geezer Gambiteer	LIMERICK: Anapest Advice to Dave Not to fret about perfect anapest, Nor from Limerick Police arrest. Our advice to young Dave, As in gambits, be brave! And "GOOD" wishes from your friend Barry Best. Barry, not the "Best" at anapest!?
LIMERICK: Adventures of TGG Trainer We gave Ms "B" leave of maternity, From chess trainer of our fraternity. Did she have a tummy tuck? Had her weight gone amuck?? But there's no doubt on the question of paternity!? Barry Best, Chief of Limerick Police in TGG --- It will be duly noted that I expressly demanded a rhyming pattern above of the scheme AABBA, and NOT BBAAB	LIMERICK: ICCF Olympiad Team Selection Along my way to Torino, A place of origin Latino. The ICCF Team I saw in a dream Was hotter than the peppers jalapeno! Barry Best, Human Relations Dep't Head TGG
LIMERICK: ICCF Olympiad Team Redux Along my way to Torino, I paused for a nice cappuccino. Thoughts of our ICCF Team-- T'was it all merely a dream? Or were they victims of some FIDE Family Gambino? Barry Best at his Worst Disclaimer: Any resemblance or likeness to persons living or dead is probably purely coincidental and most likely unintentional.