Diary

I know I have not been writing for ages. I have gone trough a very difficult period. The long wait for my operation was wearing me out. And the situation at work has not been very good either. Nobody has problems with my female appearance there, that part is going very well. But I got the feeling I got crammed between an impossible assignment and an unreasonable manager. These things can happen to all of us, especially when other things are drawing heavily on our energy.

I have stopped things I used to do, including blogging, due to lack of energy and inspiration. Nothing worth blogging really happened any more. But now it is time for an emergency update: I will get my operation next week! If that is not worth blogging, nothing is. Today I was at the hospital for pre-operative screening and on September 6th. I will get my operation.

One would say I have had plenty of time to prepare for this. I have had at least 3x the Real Life Test as demanded by the Standards Of Care. But now that it is suddenly going to happen I was started. All the questions that have been answered years ago were popping up again. I think my RLT has been much too long. It has taken too much of my energy and it has made me forget the answers to those questions. So I was in serious doubt whether I wanted the SRS at all.

But I must be strong now. I have to take this step now that it is finally possible. The uncertainty has been blocking my life for too long. And also the lives of people in my environment. So it must be yes or no now. Not maybe, not later.

So yes, let the countdown begin... or resume! Just a few days to go...

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