Diary

Tonight my forty-fourth column was broadcast in Gendertalk #568.
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://eveliensnel.com/audio/QUE01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:

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¿Que Pasa?

"¿Que Pasa?" is Spanish for "What is happening?" And last Tuesday I had no idea what was happening to me. Just when I took the exit from the freeway, my cell phone rang. It was my spouse Julia who called me: "Can you please come to pick me up at the café on your way home? I am too drunk to drive myself."
Of course I could, no problem at all. It was just before 7 PM, which is unusually early for me to come home on a working day so I surprised her: Only ten minutes later I entered the café.
It turned out she had been there all afternoon, playing the guitar and singing songs along with a couple of nice friends. She was having a great time.
Of course she wasn't ready to come along with me, so instead I was offered a beer as well and I joined in with their conversation.
I was introduced to two men who want to organize jam sessions in this café on a regular basis. They were very nice guys indeed and Julia said she had a crush on one of them.
"Would you mind if I make love with him", she asked me.
I have to admit I was started a little. But this has been a point of discussion between us for a long time. Julia and I both fall for men and we want to stay together, but it would be nice to be able to be with a man occasionally. It would not be fair to change my mind about that at a time like this, so I said it was OK with me.
We stayed in the café for a long time and after that we went to a nice Spanish restaurant by the name of "¿Que Pasa?" and ordered some tapas. This guy has been married to a Spanish lady for twenty years, so he knew exactly what to order. In a few moments our table was filled with a cornucopia of delicious little dishes and we all enjoyed the food very much.
Tapas are really only a starter in the Spanish kitchen, but we were not even able to finish it all, there really wasn't room for a main course after this. So we ended our dinner with a "carajillo", that is coffee with a special kind of Spanish brandy in it. Very nice!
All this evening I was the personal chauffeur for Julia and her friends. I was the only one who was sober and able to drive a car. In the rear view mirror I could see Julia and her lover cuddling and French kissing on the back seat. I didn't mind. If you stop to think about everything Julia is doing for me and how accepting she is to me, it is only fair I give her the freedom she needs as well.

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Isn't it nice, all those pictures? But they do take up a lot of storage space on the server.

That is why I have been looking for a free hosting site for my pictures. And I have found flickr. By the way: There are loads of beautiful pictures there. Look at this sunset for example...

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I have always wanted to go sailing in a balloon and today it finally happened. If you remember Eindhoven Ballooning you know I made this decision last year already. This time I wanted to experience this event from the inside, not as a spectator.

So Julia had enlisted me to fly on Saturday July 15th this year. Just like on the airport one should be present two hours before the flight, but of course that wasn't useful at all. I had to wait for a long time at the check-in tent before anything started to happen.



The flights on Thursday and Friday had all been cancelled due to the strong wind, but the weather forecast for Saturday evening looked very promising. Tonight there was also a quite strong wind, but eventually we were allowed to take off. We would have an Eastnotheasternly wind (70 degrees) at 12 knots. I could no longer escape!

I was to go in the balloon "Bassie en Adriaan" (PH-TYN). (Bassie & Adriaan are a Dutch clowning duo and I am not really one of their fans, but we didn't get to choose witch balloon we wanted to be in.) Anyway, once you are in the balloon you don't see what it looks like. Our captain was not Bassie, not Adriaan, but Dolf de Leeuw, one of the most experienced balloon sailors in the Netherlands. So that was very well arranged!



The Eindhoven city council has new plans for the ground around lake Karpendonk. That is why this event could not take place there this year. It is a pity, because last year the terrain was perfect for this event. It was now diverted to the technical university grounds and there was not enough room there. So the balloons were in each other's way. We had to wait for ages until the Virgin balloon next to us was finally ready to go.



And by the time we finally could get started, a new team took the place where the Virgin balloon had just left off and started to get in our way. A dangerous situation! I warned the pilot next to us his balloon was close to getting sheddred in our fan, but he didn't seem to mind that. And it got even worse when our burner was switched on, because now their balloon almost got fire!
If warning does not help a workaround has to be found so that is what happened. Julia put her full weight against our neighbor's balloon and that helped: No accidents happened.



She just let go of it for a moment to say goodbye to me.
Meanwhile our pilot was working very hard to get us off the ground; away from the crowds. Then, suddenly, we went up, up and away, heading... westsouthwest, driven by the eastnortheasterly wind.
Of course I was hoping we would fly over my own house. With a wind from 70 degrees that would have been very likely to happen, but it didn't. Apparently the wind had turned further to the east, to about 80 degrees.



And so we flew out of the university area.



The Philips-stadium and the Evoluon are probably the most recognizable buildings in Eindhoven.



But St. Trudo's church is a real beauty when seen from above. I never new churches look so nice looking from this angle.



We were not the only ones in the sky. Behind us and in front of us we could see lots of other balloons.


When Julia saw my pictures she said: "Have you "joined" the church?"
I can't help it; they are so beautiful. This is the church of the village of Oerle...



I hope we are not going to fly into that water over there...
We did, we did hit the water! Some people in the basket got their feet wet, but not me, fortunately. Now we had to ascend again quickly to avoid hitting those trees...



Soon after that we had a smooth landing.
Well, smooth, we were dragged along for at least ten yards. You can see the trace this made in the grass.



In the distance you can see the truck that is coming to pick us up already. The balloon is neatly folded and packed to go back in the truck and then taken back to our starting point.
Packing the balloon is heavy work, so I left that to the men.



Drinking champagne on the other hand is not too heavy for me.
Our pilot told us about the history of hot air balloons. The first ballooners were French. They had made a balloon out of paper and below it they made a fire with a lot of manure and other stuff that causes a lot of smoke. At the time they thought that it was the smoke that made the balloon go up. They had no idea it was caused by the hot air.
Of course this dirty fire created a lot of sparks, so all during the flight they had to use wet cloths at the ends of long sticks to extinguish the spots where sparks were setting the balloon on fire.
When they landed, the French king was so impressed by their courage that he made them owner (landlord) of all the area they had flown over.

That is why, even today, every one who has flown -- I mean sailed -- in a balloon for the first time is knighted. So now I am duchess from Eindhoven to Knegsel, because that is the path we followed.

Being knighted involves kneeling of course and some ceremonies... I will not tell about the ceremonies, but leave those as a surprise to future ballooners.

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Soon I will have to go to the VU hospital for the quarterly check-up. Last time that was an unpleasant experience, because three doctors told me it was of vital importance for me to stop smoking.

Hey, yeah... I know! But I have been a smoker for thirty years! It is not that easy to quit, you know! But on the other hand I don't want the VU to have any means to put pressure on me by delaying my operation after all. I have always been one step ahead of them and I want that to stay that way.

So my only option is to quit smoking this month. It I can manage that I will not have to "tell the psychologist what method I will use to quit", no, I will simply be able to tell her I have quit!

The last thing I would want to happen when I have finally reached the top of the waiting list is them telling me: "Yes, Mrs. Snel, you are at the top of the list, but you are still smoking. Therefore we cannot operate you!"

People often say gradually reducing the number of cigarettes you smoke doesn't work, but that is the method I use. Over the past few weeks I have been allowing myself one cigarette per our, than one every two hours, then one every third hour and today I have finally managed to smoke no cigarette at all at work.

So soon as I got home I did smoke again, but I have reached an important milestone: Working days are smoke-free from now on. I can now start working on not smoking at home.

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Tonight my forty-third column was broadcast in Gendertalk #566.
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://eveliensnel.com/audio/INDEP00.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:

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4th of July

On the fourth of July it was exactly four years ago I started my coming out at work. Therefore I think it is now time to pronounce a declaration:

When in the Course of a human life, it becomes necessary for one Individual to dissolve the bands which have connected hir to society, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle hir, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that ze should declare the causes which impel hir to the transition.

I hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Genders are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the gendered. That whenever any Form of Gender becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the individual to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Gender, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Genders long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Gender, and to provide new Guards for their future security.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Individuals; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Gender. The history of the assigned Gender is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these Individuals.

[I will not go into detail about the misery of living in the wrong Gender now...]

I, therefore, speaking on behalf of all gender queer people, assembled around their radios and computers, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by the authority of all good People, solemnly publish and declare.

That these Individuals are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to their assigned gender and that all connection between them and their assigned Gender is and ought to be totally dissolved;

and that as Free and Independent Individuals, they have full Power to live their lives the way that suits them,

and to do all other Acts and Things which Individuals of their preferred Gender may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor.

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I was working, looking for some information on the OpenVMS operating system on Internet, when I was suddenly distracted by this button. I hadn't seen that one in years! Let me try to explain what it means:

Have you ever seen someone in a T-shirt with "Got root?" printed on it? That was probably a fan of Unix- or Linux-systems. On these systems there is one user who has all the privileges: He can read, write, execute and delete everything. Such a T-shirt is a way these people recognize each other.

In OpenVMS we have something similar: "CMKRNL" is the privilege that is needed to do anything you want on an OpenVMS system. (It is pronounced as "Change Mode to KeRNeL".) It is a bit more complicated than on a Unix system, but the principle is the same. So if you wear this button, you are not just stating that you are pretty and intelligent, you also give out the message you are an experienced user of OpenVMS. You won't meet many men who can claim that, let alone women! I just might make myself a button like this. You never know what contacts could arise.

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We had such beautiful whether that hardly anyone felt like staying inside on this T&T-evening. I was chatting on the sidewalk in front of the building with a few people and meanwhile we were looking at two transvestites who were taking each other's pictures. Out on the street, where everyone could see them! They dare do this in Eindhoven, but in their own city nobody is to know about their 'big secret'. Such a pity! One of the main causes of the problems in transvestite's lives is the shame and secrecy surrounding it.

We saw a lot of hot air balloons in the sky and for a moment I feared today was the date of "Eindhoven Ballooning" again. It couldn't be, could it? Last year this event was much later in the Summer and I was hoping I could join in this year. I want to sail in a balloon too!

When I came back in, I noticed how few people were inside. Yvon called me: "Please help me to get these tables outside! And some chairs..."
Outside?
Ow yeah! The whole community was sitting in the back yard of the building. I didn't even know they had a back yard! Seven tables were outside already, so with this additional three we had a total of ten! Almost everyone was sitting outside. It was a bit of a pity for DJ Silvia and her music, but it was another opportunity for good conversations in larger groups of people.

One of my friends told us of an experience:
"The other day I was telling a friend I was a transvestite."
Her friend said: "Gee, I didn't know you were gay??"
She responded: "Gee, I didn't know you were deaf??"
"???"
"Yes, I didn't say I was gay, did I?
A transvestite is completely different from a gay man!"
There are still so many misunderstandings in our society. People tend to group everything that is different under one label: Gay. We still have a lot of explaining to do to the people around us.

Previous T&T-evenings: June, May, April, March, February, January, December, November, October, September, July, June, May 2005, April 2005, March 2005, February 2005, January 2005, December 2004, November 2004, October 2004, September 2004, August 2004, July 2004, June 2004, May 2004 and April 2004.

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