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2006-06-25
Forty-second Column
Tonight my forty-second column was broadcast in Gendertalk #564.
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://eveliensnel.com/audio/SEX21.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
Let's talk about Sex
Before I met Julia I had some experience both with men and with women, but somehow it never felt exactly right. I didn't really know whether I was straight or gay, maybe I was neither. I always enjoyed the intimacy with people, but getting beyond the kissing and cuddling stage was not really my thing. I knew it was expected of me, so I played along and tried to enjoy it...
And then I met Julia. There was a time when Julia and I had a wonderful sex life. I guess you know how it is. You think this new relationship will solve every problem you ever had. And we felt so comfortable with each other, I could make love with her without any fear or shame. The climax of our love making was of course a normal intercourse. I have to admit it never was my favorite way to reach an orgasm, I experienced it as an unusual kind of physical exercise, but it felt quite good actually.
Over the years our frequency of love making went down. There is nothing unusual about that. I read somewhere a guru once said: "If you put one bean into a jar every time you have sex in the first year of your marriage and after that first year you take one bean out of the jar for each time you have sex, the jar will never get empty."
I think we did better than that. We would have emptied the jar. But the fact remains I sort of lost interest. I didn't have the time, I was always busy on the computer. Well... To be honest, I didn't take the time. I was always working, trying not to stop and think, trying not to stop and feel.
And to make things worse, I was always looking at other women. All this gave Julia the idea she was no longer attractive to me, no matter how often I said that this was not the problem.
Women had a sort of magic to me... It was in every woman. Well, to be honest: The young and curvatious ones had more of it than old and ugly ones, but still...
To Julia it seemed very clear: Instead of her, I wanted to have another woman. But in my mind, that was slowly clearing up, there was another idea: Instead of me, I wanted to be another woman.
The frequency of our love making plummeted. And when we did have sex, I could only do it with the fantasy in my mind that I was on the receiving end. Not playing the male part, but playing the female part instead.
You all know what happened: Julia and I separated, got together again, re-separated, rejoined, split up for the third time and now we are back together again. It is all very difficult, but it is our love that keeps us trying. We want to be together and we want to make love together. Our separation has made it very clear we both need to take each other's needs into account. Not just in the living room, but in the bed room as well. And we are making some progress in that. The intimacy is back in our relationship.
We are slowly learning to make love like a lesbian couple. I will never be able to perform like a stallion again, the way I used to do. That is a great loss to Julia, a sacrifice she is making because there are so many positive elements in our relationship, neither of us could live without. To me it is a great relief: If I cannot perform like a stallion, I don't have to try it. And that feels good, because, after all, I am a mare...
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://eveliensnel.com/audio/SEX21.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
Before I met Julia I had some experience both with men and with women, but somehow it never felt exactly right. I didn't really know whether I was straight or gay, maybe I was neither. I always enjoyed the intimacy with people, but getting beyond the kissing and cuddling stage was not really my thing. I knew it was expected of me, so I played along and tried to enjoy it...
And then I met Julia. There was a time when Julia and I had a wonderful sex life. I guess you know how it is. You think this new relationship will solve every problem you ever had. And we felt so comfortable with each other, I could make love with her without any fear or shame. The climax of our love making was of course a normal intercourse. I have to admit it never was my favorite way to reach an orgasm, I experienced it as an unusual kind of physical exercise, but it felt quite good actually.
Over the years our frequency of love making went down. There is nothing unusual about that. I read somewhere a guru once said: "If you put one bean into a jar every time you have sex in the first year of your marriage and after that first year you take one bean out of the jar for each time you have sex, the jar will never get empty."
I think we did better than that. We would have emptied the jar. But the fact remains I sort of lost interest. I didn't have the time, I was always busy on the computer. Well... To be honest, I didn't take the time. I was always working, trying not to stop and think, trying not to stop and feel.
And to make things worse, I was always looking at other women. All this gave Julia the idea she was no longer attractive to me, no matter how often I said that this was not the problem.
Women had a sort of magic to me... It was in every woman. Well, to be honest: The young and curvatious ones had more of it than old and ugly ones, but still...
To Julia it seemed very clear: Instead of her, I wanted to have another woman. But in my mind, that was slowly clearing up, there was another idea: Instead of me, I wanted to be another woman.
The frequency of our love making plummeted. And when we did have sex, I could only do it with the fantasy in my mind that I was on the receiving end. Not playing the male part, but playing the female part instead.
You all know what happened: Julia and I separated, got together again, re-separated, rejoined, split up for the third time and now we are back together again. It is all very difficult, but it is our love that keeps us trying. We want to be together and we want to make love together. Our separation has made it very clear we both need to take each other's needs into account. Not just in the living room, but in the bed room as well. And we are making some progress in that. The intimacy is back in our relationship.
We are slowly learning to make love like a lesbian couple. I will never be able to perform like a stallion again, the way I used to do. That is a great loss to Julia, a sacrifice she is making because there are so many positive elements in our relationship, neither of us could live without. To me it is a great relief: If I cannot perform like a stallion, I don't have to try it. And that feels good, because, after all, I am a mare...
2006-06-17
On the Cross
More theatre and other forms of art in Eindhoven. Today we visited Bazar Bizarre, where actors, designers, musicians and stylists from within and outside TAC ("Temporary Art Center") were displaying their work in an unusual way.To be quite honest, I found it all a bit messy, but we did get to experience a lot of art in one afternoon. Dozens of paintings, a performance by a Japanese singer/song writer, an attempt to play "midgetsjoelen", we saw a movie and a theatre play etcetera.
One of the things I enjoyed most was this crucifixion. Not at a mysterious party in a dark room, not on an unpleasant hill near Jerusalem, but simply in the Ventoselaan in Eindhoven I was asked to stand at this cross.It sounded like a fun thing to do, so I complied. And it is not just for fun, many more people had their picture taken here (a total of 160 people participated) and all these pictures will be part of a work of art. Later this year an exposition of all these pictures, will be organized. Title: "De Wederopstanding" (="The Resurrection"). See also http://www.johnvanlitsenburg.com/. I will keep you posted.
And then there was food of course. More than 100 guests had a burgundian dinner in the open air at a 300 foot long table. It tasted delicious and there was a unique atmosphere. It is simply amazing how nice it can be in a dull street like the Ventoselaan in Eindhoven!2006-06-15
Kolik jazyků znáš, tolikrát jsi člověkem
No, I haven't been to a Czech restaurant, not yet. That will be in a couple of months from now. But I am preparing myself for it. Whenever I visit a foreign country, I always learn the language of that country. I have to keep up this good habit, otherwise "my reputation would be at stake and my fame would be shrewdly gored", to paraphrase Achilles in Shakespeare's play Troilus and Cressida.
In a few months from now we will be visiting Prague, so I have started to study the Czech language...
The title of this entry, "Kolik jazyků znáš, tolikrát jsi člověkem", is a Czech saying and it means: "The more languages you know, the more times a person you are." I think this is very true: One can only have real contact with people if one knows their language, even just a little bit of it.
(In Portugal and in Greece we were sometimes invited to party along with the restaurant owner and his family, in Japan I was the only one in our group who dared to ask for directions and got us the place we wanted to go...)
But I have already found out that this is not easy to do. Czech is a very difficult language to learn. In the past I have learned Croatian so I already know about the "č", but that is long ago. And in Czech this inverted roof top (the háček) can be found on more consonants and even sometimes on vowels.
My knowledge of the Croatian language didn't get a good reception from everyone when we went there in 1989. Yugoslavia had not been split up into several countries at the time yet. What did I know? I thought I had learned "Yugoslavian"
...
We met a lady who absolutely refused to understand anything I said to her. The only reaction we got from her was: "Kroačk!!" She almost spat on the ground as she pronounced that word. With the knowledge I have now about the history of Yugoslavia I think I can understand the problem: She must have been a member of the Serb minority that was living in Croatia at the time. Even in those days Croatians and Serbs had difficulty to live together in peace. Lesson learned: The language you use may seem to reflect a political point of view.
A student advised us to go and see Sarajevo "now that it was still possible". Unfortunately we didn't do that.
In a few months from now we will be visiting Prague, so I have started to study the Czech language...
The title of this entry, "Kolik jazyků znáš, tolikrát jsi člověkem", is a Czech saying and it means: "The more languages you know, the more times a person you are." I think this is very true: One can only have real contact with people if one knows their language, even just a little bit of it.
(In Portugal and in Greece we were sometimes invited to party along with the restaurant owner and his family, in Japan I was the only one in our group who dared to ask for directions and got us the place we wanted to go...)
But I have already found out that this is not easy to do. Czech is a very difficult language to learn. In the past I have learned Croatian so I already know about the "č", but that is long ago. And in Czech this inverted roof top (the háček) can be found on more consonants and even sometimes on vowels.
My knowledge of the Croatian language didn't get a good reception from everyone when we went there in 1989. Yugoslavia had not been split up into several countries at the time yet. What did I know? I thought I had learned "Yugoslavian"
...We met a lady who absolutely refused to understand anything I said to her. The only reaction we got from her was: "Kroačk!!" She almost spat on the ground as she pronounced that word. With the knowledge I have now about the history of Yugoslavia I think I can understand the problem: She must have been a member of the Serb minority that was living in Croatia at the time. Even in those days Croatians and Serbs had difficulty to live together in peace. Lesson learned: The language you use may seem to reflect a political point of view.
A student advised us to go and see Sarajevo "now that it was still possible". Unfortunately we didn't do that.
2006-06-11
Forty-first Column
Tonight my forty-first column was broadcast in Gendertalk #563.
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://eveliensnel.com/audio/PROG01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
Progress
OK, you may congratulate me! Last week I have finally completed my "Real Life Test". I have been living full-time as a woman, taken hormones and faithfully appeared at every appointment I had in the hospital for the past 18 months. I am now officially eligible to undergo the sex reassignment surgery. But I didn't throw a party, not yet! Those of you who listen to my columns regularly know why: All that happens now is that I can be added to the waiting list and it can still take a very long time before it is my turn.
Recently I had an interesting conversation with an intersexual woman, a hermaphrodite. Most people do not know about her little secret and there is indeed little reason for her to tell people about it. When she was born she had both male and female genitalia and this has caused her a lot of trouble during her childhood. She didn't want anyone to see her nude and she felt terrible about her body. It became even more difficult when she grew up into a beautiful girl with large breasts. Many boys wanted to date her and become her boyfriend, but of course having sex was out of the question.
This situation lasted until she was 18 years old. Then she had an operation and the "extra parts" were removed from her body. She could finally start to function as a normal woman and try to make up for the years she had lost due to her physical problem, which was, of course, impossible.
There are great similarities between her situation before the operation and the predicaments of a pre-op transsexual. No matter how passable you are in everyday life, passability ends as soon as you take you clothes off. And that can be difficult to cope with, especially when this situation goes on for years and years. As you know I have conquered these bad feelings about my body and I have even been to the naturist beach not to prove it, but to put myself into a situation where I could learn to feel at ease with myself.
So I do accept my body the way it is. But I can only do that for so long. I can accept the fact that I am in a stage of my process of transformation. I can imagine how miserable my intersexual friend must have felt all those years. Reluctant to take off her clothes, living in fear of discovery, afraid that something may show if you are wearing too tight a skirt or trousers. All you want in that situation is to get it over with, to become complete as a woman.
I know my operation will not solve all my problems. I know I should be happy about all that I have accomplished already. And I am! I am very happy I can live as a woman every day and I feel totally accepted everywhere I go. But I do long for this next step in my transition. And completing my Real Life Test was necessary to be able to take it. Yes, I am still making progress and I will get there. Just you wait and see!
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://eveliensnel.com/audio/PROG01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
OK, you may congratulate me! Last week I have finally completed my "Real Life Test". I have been living full-time as a woman, taken hormones and faithfully appeared at every appointment I had in the hospital for the past 18 months. I am now officially eligible to undergo the sex reassignment surgery. But I didn't throw a party, not yet! Those of you who listen to my columns regularly know why: All that happens now is that I can be added to the waiting list and it can still take a very long time before it is my turn.
Recently I had an interesting conversation with an intersexual woman, a hermaphrodite. Most people do not know about her little secret and there is indeed little reason for her to tell people about it. When she was born she had both male and female genitalia and this has caused her a lot of trouble during her childhood. She didn't want anyone to see her nude and she felt terrible about her body. It became even more difficult when she grew up into a beautiful girl with large breasts. Many boys wanted to date her and become her boyfriend, but of course having sex was out of the question.
This situation lasted until she was 18 years old. Then she had an operation and the "extra parts" were removed from her body. She could finally start to function as a normal woman and try to make up for the years she had lost due to her physical problem, which was, of course, impossible.
There are great similarities between her situation before the operation and the predicaments of a pre-op transsexual. No matter how passable you are in everyday life, passability ends as soon as you take you clothes off. And that can be difficult to cope with, especially when this situation goes on for years and years. As you know I have conquered these bad feelings about my body and I have even been to the naturist beach not to prove it, but to put myself into a situation where I could learn to feel at ease with myself.
So I do accept my body the way it is. But I can only do that for so long. I can accept the fact that I am in a stage of my process of transformation. I can imagine how miserable my intersexual friend must have felt all those years. Reluctant to take off her clothes, living in fear of discovery, afraid that something may show if you are wearing too tight a skirt or trousers. All you want in that situation is to get it over with, to become complete as a woman.
I know my operation will not solve all my problems. I know I should be happy about all that I have accomplished already. And I am! I am very happy I can live as a woman every day and I feel totally accepted everywhere I go. But I do long for this next step in my transition. And completing my Real Life Test was necessary to be able to take it. Yes, I am still making progress and I will get there. Just you wait and see!
2006-06-10
Imaginative Invisible Dimensions
There was so much theatre to experience this weekend. Not just in Eindhoven, but in Delft as well. A person can only be in one place at a time, so we had to make choices. On Saturday we had chosen for Delft, where the "Mooi Weer Spelen" ("Fare Weather Plays") were taking place this weekend.
At 3 PM the play "De verbeelding van onzichtbare dimensies" ("Imaginative Invisible Dimensions") by Theater Adhoc started in "Techniek Ontmoetings Punt" ("Technical Meeting Point") (formerly post office Hippolytusbuurt)
A performance meant for engineers, philosophers, poets and everyone who's curious. Theatrically social and scientific issues are reflected. For example an interview with a renowned scientist is part of the show.
It's just one extended search for invisible dimensions. In which developments take place a human being isn't able to observe using his regular senses: genes & proteins, bits & bytes, electrons & neutrons....
I had seen a performance by Adhoc before and wrote an elaborate report on that. It was a great surprise for me to find this theatre group at this festival again.
Just like last time I enjoyed the performance very much. Just like last time a very difficult, scientific subject matter was shamelessly poured over an ignorant audience. Just like last time the audience was captured by the wonderful way Jan van den Berg told his story. Just like last time it didn't matter at all that the subject matter was far too difficult for most of the audience.
Just like last time Theater Adhoc has been traveling around the globe to gather information about a subject. In this case one of the countries they visited was Japan, where they went to see the neutrino detector which has been built there, deep within mount Ikenoyama.
Jan told us about the day before he got to see the detector, when he almost bumped into a large black bear on the slopes of mount Ikenoyama. A bear? Well, it was really a female bear. That was clearly visible as she stood up in front of him with her front paws up in the air and her hind paws slightly apart...
Jan also tells about the day when his former maths teacher ignored the red traffic lights and raced full speed across one of the most busy streets in Eindhoven, without any collision!
This is exactly the same thing neutrinos do all the time. They fly right through everything, through the empty space in the atoms at nearly the speed of light. They fly right through your body; billions of them each second. They fly right through the earth; nothing can stop them.
Inside mount Ikenoyama scientists have built a large tank, filled with ultra-pure water. The tank is 170 feet high and 150 feet in diameter. That means every second 13 000 000 000 000 neutrinos pass through it. [I calculated that number myself, forgive me if I am off by a factor of three
.] This does not go without accidents: Every hour one neutrino collides with an electron inside the tank. Such a collision causes a tiny flash of light (the so-called Cherenkov-light). All around the tank 11000 handmade photo multiplication tubes are measuring this, amplifying it and feeding the signal into a computer.
Jan illustrates this by putting a glass of water inside a model of the mountain. He also shows video images, showing the hand-crafting of the tubes by experienced glass blowers and showing him, entering the mountain together with Yoichiro Suzuki, in a Toyota Hi-Ace: Almost one mile deep in an old zinc mine.
The audience is drinking in his words and Jan himself is also fully occupied with his story. So much occupied that he doesn't notice the bear entering the stage. The lady bear that is; we can clearly see that because below the bear-suit we see two feet in fine red sandals, with neatly polished red toenails.
Jan and the bear do not collide She takes off the bear suit and turns out to be a gracefull assistant, who helps to bring Jan back to the main subject every time he digresses too much...
They had made twelve large wooden blocks, representing the twelve currently known elementary particles. (On top of the blocks you can still see the model of the mountain.)
The blocks were even explained to us: "Up, down, charm, strange, top, bottom, here the neutrino's and in the bottom row the rest of the leptons." That was all the explanation we got!
Well, of course this was ample information to give the audience a clear picture of quarks and leptons.
The bottom left block represents a particle we all know: The electron. But next to that are the muon and the tau-particle. I have to admit I had to look those up on the Internet to explain all this to you without making a mess of this report, scientifically speaking. (Muons are like electrons, only a bit heavier and tau particles are like muons, but heavier still.) And I never knew there are neutrinos in three "tastes".
Are you lost already? Come on! You know electrons, right? But have you ever seen one? No you haven't! So why can't you believe those other eleven elementary particles exist...
I also thought neutrinos do not have any mass, but recent investigations have shown they do have a tiny mass indeed. That makes the thought billions of those go through your body a lot more frightening, doesn't it? I could live with the thought of all those particles passing through my body if they were weightless, but if they do have a mass, they will become very heavy when accelerated to nearly the speed of light.
I have enjoyed this performance very much. The only critique I have is about the interview with Len van der Wal (M.Sc.) from TNO Space. It was interesting, but it was not theatre! It was almost what I feared to see last time and fortunately didn't happen then: Talking men behind a table. In this case the talking man was sitting in an easy chair, but nevertheless it temporarily took the speed out of the performance.
At 3 PM the play "De verbeelding van onzichtbare dimensies" ("Imaginative Invisible Dimensions") by Theater Adhoc started in "Techniek Ontmoetings Punt" ("Technical Meeting Point") (formerly post office Hippolytusbuurt)
A performance meant for engineers, philosophers, poets and everyone who's curious. Theatrically social and scientific issues are reflected. For example an interview with a renowned scientist is part of the show.
It's just one extended search for invisible dimensions. In which developments take place a human being isn't able to observe using his regular senses: genes & proteins, bits & bytes, electrons & neutrons....
I had seen a performance by Adhoc before and wrote an elaborate report on that. It was a great surprise for me to find this theatre group at this festival again.
Just like last time I enjoyed the performance very much. Just like last time a very difficult, scientific subject matter was shamelessly poured over an ignorant audience. Just like last time the audience was captured by the wonderful way Jan van den Berg told his story. Just like last time it didn't matter at all that the subject matter was far too difficult for most of the audience.
Just like last time Theater Adhoc has been traveling around the globe to gather information about a subject. In this case one of the countries they visited was Japan, where they went to see the neutrino detector which has been built there, deep within mount Ikenoyama.
Jan told us about the day before he got to see the detector, when he almost bumped into a large black bear on the slopes of mount Ikenoyama. A bear? Well, it was really a female bear. That was clearly visible as she stood up in front of him with her front paws up in the air and her hind paws slightly apart...
Jan also tells about the day when his former maths teacher ignored the red traffic lights and raced full speed across one of the most busy streets in Eindhoven, without any collision!
This is exactly the same thing neutrinos do all the time. They fly right through everything, through the empty space in the atoms at nearly the speed of light. They fly right through your body; billions of them each second. They fly right through the earth; nothing can stop them.
Inside mount Ikenoyama scientists have built a large tank, filled with ultra-pure water. The tank is 170 feet high and 150 feet in diameter. That means every second 13 000 000 000 000 neutrinos pass through it. [I calculated that number myself, forgive me if I am off by a factor of three
.] This does not go without accidents: Every hour one neutrino collides with an electron inside the tank. Such a collision causes a tiny flash of light (the so-called Cherenkov-light). All around the tank 11000 handmade photo multiplication tubes are measuring this, amplifying it and feeding the signal into a computer.Jan illustrates this by putting a glass of water inside a model of the mountain. He also shows video images, showing the hand-crafting of the tubes by experienced glass blowers and showing him, entering the mountain together with Yoichiro Suzuki, in a Toyota Hi-Ace: Almost one mile deep in an old zinc mine.
The audience is drinking in his words and Jan himself is also fully occupied with his story. So much occupied that he doesn't notice the bear entering the stage. The lady bear that is; we can clearly see that because below the bear-suit we see two feet in fine red sandals, with neatly polished red toenails.
Jan and the bear do not collide She takes off the bear suit and turns out to be a gracefull assistant, who helps to bring Jan back to the main subject every time he digresses too much...
They had made twelve large wooden blocks, representing the twelve currently known elementary particles. (On top of the blocks you can still see the model of the mountain.)The blocks were even explained to us: "Up, down, charm, strange, top, bottom, here the neutrino's and in the bottom row the rest of the leptons." That was all the explanation we got!
Well, of course this was ample information to give the audience a clear picture of quarks and leptons
.The bottom left block represents a particle we all know: The electron. But next to that are the muon and the tau-particle. I have to admit I had to look those up on the Internet to explain all this to you without making a mess of this report, scientifically speaking. (Muons are like electrons, only a bit heavier and tau particles are like muons, but heavier still.) And I never knew there are neutrinos in three "tastes".
Are you lost already? Come on! You know electrons, right? But have you ever seen one? No you haven't! So why can't you believe those other eleven elementary particles exist...
I also thought neutrinos do not have any mass, but recent investigations have shown they do have a tiny mass indeed. That makes the thought billions of those go through your body a lot more frightening, doesn't it
? I could live with the thought of all those particles passing through my body if they were weightless, but if they do have a mass, they will become very heavy when accelerated to nearly the speed of light.I have enjoyed this performance very much. The only critique I have is about the interview with Len van der Wal (M.Sc.) from TNO Space. It was interesting, but it was not theatre! It was almost what I feared to see last time and fortunately didn't happen then: Talking men behind a table. In this case the talking man was sitting in an easy chair, but nevertheless it temporarily took the speed out of the performance.
2006-06-09
EDIT
EDIT was a free cultural festival for everyone in a very special environment in the second week of June. Three days, two evenings and one night people could enjoy a cornucopia of art and culture; paintings and statues, films and photography, a classical piano concert, hip-hop, stoner funk, a children's circus a playground for skaters, experimental theatre and performance. And all of that in what used to be called "the forbidden city" as the area used to be accessible to Philips employees only.
EDIT was organized by the Trudo, PopEi and Theaterplan foundations.
On Friday afternoon we went to the "Clock building", hoping to find some culture, but we were not very lucky. Maybe the Philips grounds where I have been working for eight years (four very happy years and four very sad ones) spells bad luck for me nowadays. Anyway we were on the wrong place in the wrong time. The great, empty halls were nearly deserted. Just artists and technician working on the preparations of the events were there. In some places rock bands were doing their sound check and the catering welcomed us as their very first clients.
After some hours of patience something did happen indeed: We witnessed the opening concert. Several parts by John Cage were played and although Cage is usually inedible to me, in this unusual environment it suddenly sounded very well. No, the famous 4'33" by Cage was not played fortunately; we had had enough silence already.
Throughout the hall several giant enlargements of pictures of New York street life were exposed and during the music I tiptoed (to prevent making noise with my high heels) around the hall to closely look at those pictures. I was really enjoying this!
The "Clock building" is intended to become a center for the Arts, but it still has a very pronounced atmosphere of a Philips factory. The typical Philips smell is everywhere in the building and it may very well be that will never go away. Those smells brought memories to my mind that made me feel a bit sad.
Isn't it amazing how strongly your sense of smell is coupled to your memory?
EDIT was organized by the Trudo, PopEi and Theaterplan foundations.
On Friday afternoon we went to the "Clock building", hoping to find some culture, but we were not very lucky. Maybe the Philips grounds where I have been working for eight years (four very happy years and four very sad ones) spells bad luck for me nowadays. Anyway we were on the wrong place in the wrong time. The great, empty halls were nearly deserted. Just artists and technician working on the preparations of the events were there. In some places rock bands were doing their sound check and the catering welcomed us as their very first clients.
After some hours of patience something did happen indeed: We witnessed the opening concert. Several parts by John Cage were played and although Cage is usually inedible to me, in this unusual environment it suddenly sounded very well. No, the famous 4'33" by Cage was not played fortunately; we had had enough silence already.
Throughout the hall several giant enlargements of pictures of New York street life were exposed and during the music I tiptoed (to prevent making noise with my high heels) around the hall to closely look at those pictures. I was really enjoying this!
The "Clock building" is intended to become a center for the Arts, but it still has a very pronounced atmosphere of a Philips factory. The typical Philips smell is everywhere in the building and it may very well be that will never go away. Those smells brought memories to my mind that made me feel a bit sad.
Isn't it amazing how strongly your sense of smell is coupled to your memory?
2006-06-05
Trappist Beer
Today was "castle day" so Julia and I went out to visit a castle. We went to "De Strijdhoef" in Udenhout. And to be honest, we were quite disappointed. It wasn't even a real castle, it was more like a stately home. After an hour we had seen enough and we decided to go to Tilburg to find a nice little restaurant.
But on the way there we found a sign pointing the way to the abbey "Onze Lieve Vrouwe van Prinsenhoeven". An abbey may not be a castle, but it sounded interesting anyway.
And it was interesting indeed! After following this road for a few miles, we saw the tips of towers over the treetops. We had found the abbey!
We first looked in the shop and then we went to the tasting hall. They don't just serve beer, you can also have a simple meal there. We chose abbey bread with beer ham and a glass of triple from La Trappe.
By the way, the brand La Trappe was everywhere around us. It was almost like we were at the brewery. And indeed we were:
'La Trappe', the name of the beer brewed in Koningshoeven, is the only Trappist beer in The Netherlands. Only beer brewed in a Trappist monastery under the supervision and responsibility of the monks may be called 'Trappist beer'. La Trappe is brewed according to traditional methods, from a recipe developed by the Trappist monks of Koningshoeven, using only natural ingredients, such as hops, barley malt and yeast. The brewery uses water drawn from its own well in the beer. The fermentation process characteristic of the type of yeast which is used, is most active between 18 and 20 degrees Celsius (or 66 and 70 degrees Fahrenheit) and is known as 'top fermentation'. The beer is bottled with yeast and sugar, which allows the fermentation process to continue in the bottle, giving La Trappe a unique aroma.
When we had finished our sandwiches, a large group of people entered the tasting hall, the lights were dimmed and we got to see an elaborate documentary about the history of the abbey and brewing La Trappe beers.
And after that we were shown around in the brewery. Nobody was working because it was Whitmonday, so we could see everything without getting in the way of the workers.
Both the abbey and the brewery have been built in neo-gothic style, one can even see that from the windows in the storage room.
Many people think you should neatly sort all the bottles before taking them back to the shop, you shouldn't get the brands mixed up, but we learned that mixing the brands is not a problem at all: Look at this conveyer belt where used bottles are taken in to the washing machine. All bottles have the same standard measurements and the labels will be rinsed off anyway...
But on the way there we found a sign pointing the way to the abbey "Onze Lieve Vrouwe van Prinsenhoeven". An abbey may not be a castle, but it sounded interesting anyway.And it was interesting indeed! After following this road for a few miles, we saw the tips of towers over the treetops. We had found the abbey!We first looked in the shop and then we went to the tasting hall. They don't just serve beer, you can also have a simple meal there. We chose abbey bread with beer ham and a glass of triple from La Trappe.
By the way, the brand La Trappe was everywhere around us. It was almost like we were at the brewery. And indeed we were:'La Trappe', the name of the beer brewed in Koningshoeven, is the only Trappist beer in The Netherlands. Only beer brewed in a Trappist monastery under the supervision and responsibility of the monks may be called 'Trappist beer'. La Trappe is brewed according to traditional methods, from a recipe developed by the Trappist monks of Koningshoeven, using only natural ingredients, such as hops, barley malt and yeast. The brewery uses water drawn from its own well in the beer. The fermentation process characteristic of the type of yeast which is used, is most active between 18 and 20 degrees Celsius (or 66 and 70 degrees Fahrenheit) and is known as 'top fermentation'. The beer is bottled with yeast and sugar, which allows the fermentation process to continue in the bottle, giving La Trappe a unique aroma.
When we had finished our sandwiches, a large group of people entered the tasting hall, the lights were dimmed and we got to see an elaborate documentary about the history of the abbey and brewing La Trappe beers.
And after that we were shown around in the brewery. Nobody was working because it was Whitmonday, so we could see everything without getting in the way of the workers.Both the abbey and the brewery have been built in neo-gothic style, one can even see that from the windows in the storage room.
Many people think you should neatly sort all the bottles before taking them back to the shop, you shouldn't get the brands mixed up, but we learned that mixing the brands is not a problem at all: Look at this conveyer belt where used bottles are taken in to the washing machine. All bottles have the same standard measurements and the labels will be rinsed off anyway...
2006-06-04
Eindhoven Culinair
Today there was an event in the city park: "Eindhoven Culinair" That sounds like good food and the whether was nice, so we decided to go there. At the entrance we could buy "Lempkes" ("Light bulbies"), that were used instead of money here. But how many should you buy? We had no idea! We bought twenty-two for about $25.
So off we went... It turned out many restaurants were presenting themselves in a tent or on a terrace to give a taste of their fine kitchen. But prices turned out to be a lot higher than we expected. There was hardly anything one could buy for one "Lempke". Yeah, OK, one little meat ball, that was the only thing that cost one "Lempke".
After walking around for a while we put two of the scarce empty chairs together and ordered a glass of rosé. That cost three "Lempkes" a piece, so we were left with only 16 in our wallet. Too few for a decent thing to eat and a drink to go with it. But for now, we just enjoyed ourselves watching the people in the crowd.
Of course you cannot say you have been to "Eindhoven Culinair" without having had something to eat. And with all the delicious smells around and all the eating people your appetite is bound to increase. So we wanted to find a place to eat, but we found out there were really very few empty places to sit and order food. So we ended up at the Collse Hoeve. The Collse Hoeve is a very posh restaurant and even here at this event they had been able to maintain that status. Apparently this was holding back the masses of people, so there was plenty of room to sit. We chose a neatly set table and we felt happy to be out of the crowds for a while. So let's have a drink to begin with...
Meanwhile I was getting worried about out stock of "Lempkes". Already we didn't have enough to order anything on the menu. Fortunately the waiter assured us we would be able to buy additional "Lempkes" at the table.
So we ordered quail with a mushroom quiche. It was a very tiny serving, but it tasted very good!
We enjoyed the food, we enjoyed another glass of wine and we enjoyed live music: The pianist was doing his very best to create the atmosphere of the Collse Hoeve even here at this fair ground. People say music with your meal is an insult both to the cook and to the musician, but I do not agree with that.
Suddenly Julia noticed there were tears in my eyes. "Is something bothering you?" she asked. No, not really. But the pianist was playing "My Favorite Things" from "The Sound of Music" and that always touches me...
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad
After we had bought additional "Lempkes" and paid our bill, we had exactly ten "Lempkes" left over and I knew exactly what I wanted to spend those on: At Mey Wah's they had a choice of two kinds of noodle soup at five "Lempkes" a cup. I had a real appetite for that and it was also the exact amount we had available. We choose the noodle soup with Peking duck.
In Japan I have gained enough experience in eating with chopsticks, but this was the first time I ate soup with chopsticks. Of course that is impossible: You have to drink the broth from the cup anyway. But it is very well possible to pick the pieces of meat and vegetables out of the cup with the chopsticks and that it the way it should be done. We were also handed a spoon by the way, but it is much more fun to eat in style, isn't it?
So off we went... It turned out many restaurants were presenting themselves in a tent or on a terrace to give a taste of their fine kitchen. But prices turned out to be a lot higher than we expected. There was hardly anything one could buy for one "Lempke". Yeah, OK, one little meat ball, that was the only thing that cost one "Lempke".
After walking around for a while we put two of the scarce empty chairs together and ordered a glass of rosé. That cost three "Lempkes" a piece, so we were left with only 16 in our wallet. Too few for a decent thing to eat and a drink to go with it. But for now, we just enjoyed ourselves watching the people in the crowd.
Of course you cannot say you have been to "Eindhoven Culinair" without having had something to eat. And with all the delicious smells around and all the eating people your appetite is bound to increase. So we wanted to find a place to eat, but we found out there were really very few empty places to sit and order food. So we ended up at the Collse Hoeve. The Collse Hoeve is a very posh restaurant and even here at this event they had been able to maintain that status. Apparently this was holding back the masses of people, so there was plenty of room to sit. We chose a neatly set table and we felt happy to be out of the crowds for a while. So let's have a drink to begin with...
Meanwhile I was getting worried about out stock of "Lempkes". Already we didn't have enough to order anything on the menu. Fortunately the waiter assured us we would be able to buy additional "Lempkes" at the table.
So we ordered quail with a mushroom quiche. It was a very tiny serving, but it tasted very good!We enjoyed the food, we enjoyed another glass of wine and we enjoyed live music: The pianist was doing his very best to create the atmosphere of the Collse Hoeve even here at this fair ground. People say music with your meal is an insult both to the cook and to the musician, but I do not agree with that.
Suddenly Julia noticed there were tears in my eyes. "Is something bothering you?" she asked. No, not really. But the pianist was playing "My Favorite Things" from "The Sound of Music" and that always touches me...
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad
After we had bought additional "Lempkes" and paid our bill, we had exactly ten "Lempkes" left over and I knew exactly what I wanted to spend those on: At Mey Wah's they had a choice of two kinds of noodle soup at five "Lempkes" a cup. I had a real appetite for that and it was also the exact amount we had available. We choose the noodle soup with Peking duck.
In Japan I have gained enough experience in eating with chopsticks, but this was the first time I ate soup with chopsticks. Of course that is impossible: You have to drink the broth from the cup anyway. But it is very well possible to pick the pieces of meat and vegetables out of the cup with the chopsticks and that it the way it should be done. We were also handed a spoon by the way, but it is much more fun to eat in style, isn't it?2006-06-03
Real Life Test Completed
Today it was exactly 18 months ago I started my Real Life Test. So now I am officially eligible to undergo the sex change operation. When I started this "RLT", I was still thinking this meant I could have my operation done on June 3rd, 2006, but I know better now! I will now be added to the waiting list. Or, to be more exact, I will go on the waiting list to have a consultation with the surgeon and after that I will go on the waiting list for the operation.
Time to party? No, not really. It does not feel like much has changed really. Yet I had been hoping I would be able to discuss this with some people on the T&T-evening tonight. But there was no time for talking at all. I was on duty at the bar again and it was just hard labor all evening, lasting longer than ever before this time, because except for Yvon Julia and I were the last volunteers to leave the community center. We didn't want to leave Yvon in there all by herself, so we stayed until the very end (which was about 4 AM).
I was completely exhausted. When I came home, I shouted: "This has been the very last time I have worked at that bar!"
Well, now that I write this down, four weeks have passed and the blisters on my feet and my soul have healed already. I will continue this voluntary work for a while, after all we do it for the people who need this and/or the people who just enjoy themselves. Somebody has got to do the work...
Previous T&T-evenings: May, April, March, February, January, December, November, October, September, July, June, May 2005, April 2005, March 2005, February 2005, January 2005, December 2004, November 2004, October 2004, September 2004, August 2004, July 2004, June 2004, May 2004 and April 2004.
Time to party? No, not really. It does not feel like much has changed really. Yet I had been hoping I would be able to discuss this with some people on the T&T-evening tonight. But there was no time for talking at all. I was on duty at the bar again and it was just hard labor all evening, lasting longer than ever before this time, because except for Yvon Julia and I were the last volunteers to leave the community center. We didn't want to leave Yvon in there all by herself, so we stayed until the very end (which was about 4 AM).
I was completely exhausted. When I came home, I shouted: "This has been the very last time I have worked at that bar!"
Well, now that I write this down, four weeks have passed and the blisters on my feet and my soul have healed already. I will continue this voluntary work for a while, after all we do it for the people who need this and/or the people who just enjoy themselves. Somebody has got to do the work...
Previous T&T-evenings: May, April, March, February, January, December, November, October, September, July, June, May 2005, April 2005, March 2005, February 2005, January 2005, December 2004, November 2004, October 2004, September 2004, August 2004, July 2004, June 2004, May 2004 and April 2004.
© 1985-2006 E.G. Snel
