English
Nederlands
2006-05-29
Dommel valley
Julia and I often go for a long walk nowadays. They say it is good for your health. But it is not fun to walk the same block every day, so yesterday we took a guide for nature walks out of the cupboard to find a nice environment for a walk in the forest. The route closest to our house in the guide was in Dommel valley.
The route starts at the watermill opposite to café/camping "De Volmolen" ("The Fulling Mill"). In the nineteenth century there were no less than twenty watermills on the banks of the river Dommel. According to old documents a watermill was situated here in 703 already. In 1350 it was turned into a double mill. On the west bank of the river it was used to extract linseed oil and on the east bank millstones were powered to grind grains into flour. In 1792 this mill was turned into a fulling mill, where woolen cloth was turned into felt by washing it and beating it. The mill has been rebuilt in 1992.
The route starts with half a mile of walking straight ahead on the bicycle path along a national road. Not really the walk in the forest we had been hoping for, but a good way to exercise and fight against my osteoporosis. The path has recently undergone maintenance and is in perfect condition. A very good surface to walk on indeed!
Then the route turns right onto a sandy path and it is beginning to look like a real nature walk. Great parts of this area are now owned by "Natuurmonumenten", an organization that helps to maintain and restore nature in our country. The rivers Dommel and Keersop, that flow together in this area are typical lowland brooks that make a lot of curves and often overflow. In the past most of these brooks have been turned into canals, but now they are allowed to flow freely again. The grassy fields in the valley will regain their function of storing the excess water of the brooks, like they used to do. To help nature a little some little ponds like those that should arise here spontaneously have been created already. This is the natural habitat of frogs and salamanders.
Only at the far end of the route we saw the river Dommel again for the first time, just at the point where it makes the last natural curve people have allowed it to turn over the past centuries. From that point the path goes along the Dommel, upstraem in the direction of the watermill again. In some places where the path goes along the outside of a curve, it can clearly be seen that sometime parts of the bank break off and fall into the stream, so that the path is getting more and more narrow over time. "Natuurmonumenten" will have to move this path by several feet each year, otherwise it will slowly disappear into the river!
At the point where the path turns away from the river again, the route goes through a bit of forest, so this was the first time we could actually call it a walk in the forest. Actually we passed through several kinds of forest, because the part close to the river is relatively wet, while the part closer the road is quite dry. That is why a great variety of plant and animal species can live in this small forest area.
When we came out of the forest, we were at the national road again and we could change step again to get back to our starting point at a healthy speed.
The route starts at the watermill opposite to café/camping "De Volmolen" ("The Fulling Mill"). In the nineteenth century there were no less than twenty watermills on the banks of the river Dommel. According to old documents a watermill was situated here in 703 already. In 1350 it was turned into a double mill. On the west bank of the river it was used to extract linseed oil and on the east bank millstones were powered to grind grains into flour. In 1792 this mill was turned into a fulling mill, where woolen cloth was turned into felt by washing it and beating it. The mill has been rebuilt in 1992.The route starts with half a mile of walking straight ahead on the bicycle path along a national road. Not really the walk in the forest we had been hoping for, but a good way to exercise and fight against my osteoporosis. The path has recently undergone maintenance and is in perfect condition. A very good surface to walk on indeed!
Then the route turns right onto a sandy path and it is beginning to look like a real nature walk. Great parts of this area are now owned by "Natuurmonumenten", an organization that helps to maintain and restore nature in our country. The rivers Dommel and Keersop, that flow together in this area are typical lowland brooks that make a lot of curves and often overflow. In the past most of these brooks have been turned into canals, but now they are allowed to flow freely again. The grassy fields in the valley will regain their function of storing the excess water of the brooks, like they used to do. To help nature a little some little ponds like those that should arise here spontaneously have been created already. This is the natural habitat of frogs and salamanders.
Only at the far end of the route we saw the river Dommel again for the first time, just at the point where it makes the last natural curve people have allowed it to turn over the past centuries. From that point the path goes along the Dommel, upstraem in the direction of the watermill again. In some places where the path goes along the outside of a curve, it can clearly be seen that sometime parts of the bank break off and fall into the stream, so that the path is getting more and more narrow over time. "Natuurmonumenten" will have to move this path by several feet each year, otherwise it will slowly disappear into the river!
At the point where the path turns away from the river again, the route goes through a bit of forest, so this was the first time we could actually call it a walk in the forest. Actually we passed through several kinds of forest, because the part close to the river is relatively wet, while the part closer the road is quite dry. That is why a great variety of plant and animal species can live in this small forest area.
When we came out of the forest, we were at the national road again and we could change step again to get back to our starting point at a healthy speed.
2006-05-28
Fortyest Column
Tonight my fortyest column was broadcast in Gendertalk #561.
By the way: This is an exceptionally interesting installent of Gendertalk, because this program is featuring an interview with Christine Jorgensen, recorded back in 1957! This is historic material and it is truly wonderful to listen to her story. Many people think she was the first MTF transsexual to undergo the sex change operation. That is not true, but she has done an awful lot for the acceptance of transsexual people. This was fifty years ago, mind you!
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://www.eveliensnel.com/audio/FIRST01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
First Time Out
This week I visited the one act play festival in the city of Delft. Delft is a beautiful little city in the west of the Netherlands that is visited by several thousands of tourists every year. I have lived there for about twenty years and I still have many friends there.
The one act play festival is a yearly event most of these friends like to attend. At the festival I met a lady who has had an enormous impact on my coming out, without even knowing it. IT is many years ago I last saw her. I felt so proud to show her how much progress I have made since then.
And this encounter reminded me of something I haven't told you about yet: My first time out, dressed as a girl! It must be about eight years ago she invited a friend of mine to go to a fancy dress party in a nearby village. They had a very special dress code: The men were expected to come to the party dressed as a girl.
That evening we had seen yet another theatre play and after the play we were chatting with a couple of friends in the foyer of the theatre. My friend told us about the party he had been invited to and I was very interested. It seemed like a nice idea and...
somewhere deep within me, there was an urge to come along with him to this party. That was not a problem at all he said, sure we could come. So we decided to go there with a group of half a dozen of friends.
But I felt another strong urge: I wanted to go to the party and adhere to the dress code. I felt this was a unique opportunity to do something I had been dreaming about, but I had never had the courage to act upon that dream: To go out dressed as a girl.
My friends didn't mind, so we all went to the house of one of my female friends and she and I went to her wardrobe, to find me a nice dress for the evening. When I came downstairs again, she had transformed me into a beautiful girl. That is how it felt to me anyway.
Maybe my looks were not perfect, but for this party it didn't matter anyway. I was quite nervous when we got there, but I knew I had to get on with this, it was so important for me.
The party turned out to be a great experience. There were some real transvestites there and there were also men who would normally never do this, but had made a serious effort to look feminine for this occasion. There were also some guys in normal clothing, wearing just a bra over their shirt, stuffed with oranges or melons.
It didn't matter at all. There was a nice atmosphere and everybody was accepted. Shy first-timers like me and melon-filled loud mouths alike. I had a wonderful time!
That evening I learned something about myself: I felt so relaxed, so at home in my female garments, better than I had ever felt before. After that it still took me several years to accept all the consequences of this, but if it hadn't been for that party, it might have taken me much longer.
By the way: This is an exceptionally interesting installent of Gendertalk, because this program is featuring an interview with Christine Jorgensen, recorded back in 1957! This is historic material and it is truly wonderful to listen to her story. Many people think she was the first MTF transsexual to undergo the sex change operation. That is not true, but she has done an awful lot for the acceptance of transsexual people. This was fifty years ago, mind you!
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://www.eveliensnel.com/audio/FIRST01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
This week I visited the one act play festival in the city of Delft. Delft is a beautiful little city in the west of the Netherlands that is visited by several thousands of tourists every year. I have lived there for about twenty years and I still have many friends there.
The one act play festival is a yearly event most of these friends like to attend. At the festival I met a lady who has had an enormous impact on my coming out, without even knowing it. IT is many years ago I last saw her. I felt so proud to show her how much progress I have made since then.
And this encounter reminded me of something I haven't told you about yet: My first time out, dressed as a girl! It must be about eight years ago she invited a friend of mine to go to a fancy dress party in a nearby village. They had a very special dress code: The men were expected to come to the party dressed as a girl.
That evening we had seen yet another theatre play and after the play we were chatting with a couple of friends in the foyer of the theatre. My friend told us about the party he had been invited to and I was very interested. It seemed like a nice idea and...
somewhere deep within me, there was an urge to come along with him to this party. That was not a problem at all he said, sure we could come. So we decided to go there with a group of half a dozen of friends.
But I felt another strong urge: I wanted to go to the party and adhere to the dress code. I felt this was a unique opportunity to do something I had been dreaming about, but I had never had the courage to act upon that dream: To go out dressed as a girl.
My friends didn't mind, so we all went to the house of one of my female friends and she and I went to her wardrobe, to find me a nice dress for the evening. When I came downstairs again, she had transformed me into a beautiful girl. That is how it felt to me anyway.
Maybe my looks were not perfect, but for this party it didn't matter anyway. I was quite nervous when we got there, but I knew I had to get on with this, it was so important for me.
The party turned out to be a great experience. There were some real transvestites there and there were also men who would normally never do this, but had made a serious effort to look feminine for this occasion. There were also some guys in normal clothing, wearing just a bra over their shirt, stuffed with oranges or melons.
It didn't matter at all. There was a nice atmosphere and everybody was accepted. Shy first-timers like me and melon-filled loud mouths alike. I had a wonderful time!
That evening I learned something about myself: I felt so relaxed, so at home in my female garments, better than I had ever felt before. After that it still took me several years to accept all the consequences of this, but if it hadn't been for that party, it might have taken me much longer.
2006-05-25
New speech therapist
On March 22nd. I met my new speech therapist. And our conversation was... Just getting to know each other. We spoke a lot about ourselves and our experiences with gender dysfonia. I am not the first transsexual she has worked with. To be exact: I am the fourth.
So she has experience and that is a good sign. She also seemed to be very sympathetic. We promised we will each gather learning material. She would mix me a "mishmash" of exercises and I would bring some material Pamela and I have been using.
She was surprised when she saw the material I brought along the second time I visited her: She has made exercises for the VU hospital in the past and she now recognized material she had helped to create herself!
Of course I have spoken about the ways I use my voice. My radio columns are very interesting material of course. She asked me to burn all my columns onto a CD so that we can compare and listen to my progress in the past 18 month. That was a bit too difficult to do. It is not without reason my podcast is so far behind: It takes time to get everything orderly lined up and besides that there is a new column every two weeks, so it is never finished. I haven't burned the CD yet...
By now I have visited her four times already. We are mainly working on my breathing technique and the melody of sentences. I am very good at doing exercises in the safe environment of her room, but the main difficulty is still applying my skills in every day life. When I am thinking about I work, I only remember what I want to say and I forget to think about how to say it, unfortunately.
But I am still making progress. Not from one day to the next, but that is of course impossible. Listening to my columns I did notice my breathing technique is improving: I no longer hear that loud and distracting noise of breathing in at the beginning of every sentence. I try to breathe more from the stomach, using small bits of air, one for each word, instead of pumping my longs full with a gallon of air to say a whole sentence at once. I am beginning to learn that...
So she has experience and that is a good sign. She also seemed to be very sympathetic. We promised we will each gather learning material. She would mix me a "mishmash" of exercises and I would bring some material Pamela and I have been using.
She was surprised when she saw the material I brought along the second time I visited her: She has made exercises for the VU hospital in the past and she now recognized material she had helped to create herself!
Of course I have spoken about the ways I use my voice. My radio columns are very interesting material of course. She asked me to burn all my columns onto a CD so that we can compare and listen to my progress in the past 18 month. That was a bit too difficult to do. It is not without reason my podcast is so far behind: It takes time to get everything orderly lined up and besides that there is a new column every two weeks, so it is never finished. I haven't burned the CD yet...
By now I have visited her four times already. We are mainly working on my breathing technique and the melody of sentences. I am very good at doing exercises in the safe environment of her room, but the main difficulty is still applying my skills in every day life. When I am thinking about I work, I only remember what I want to say and I forget to think about how to say it, unfortunately.
But I am still making progress. Not from one day to the next, but that is of course impossible. Listening to my columns I did notice my breathing technique is improving: I no longer hear that loud and distracting noise of breathing in at the beginning of every sentence. I try to breathe more from the stomach, using small bits of air, one for each word, instead of pumping my longs full with a gallon of air to say a whole sentence at once. I am beginning to learn that...
Thirty-ninth Column
Tonight my thirty-ninth column was broadcast in Gendertalk #559.
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://eveliensnel.com/audio/LIFE01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
Life Inbetween
Last week I had to work an extra shift at the bar on our monthly T&T-evening, because we had to man two bars instead of one. The reason for that was we had a very special event: The official presentation of the first book by Loes Vlaming, a Dutch transsexual novelist. Her book is called "Leven tussenin", which means "Life inbetween".
Transsexuals often write about themselves and she is no exception. It is mainly about the period in her life at the end of her Real Life Test. More than a year on female hormones, but still waiting for the operation. It is the same stage in the process where I am at the moment.
But instead of writing a diary, she has chosen to tell about her experiences in the form of a novel. She hopes this will make the subject more accessible to non-transsexuals.
Of course I bought the book. As a matter of fact I bought two copies: One for myself and one for my parents. Although my parents have fully accepted me as their daughter, it is not always easy to talk with them about difficult subjects. A book like this can help them to understand more about my feelings.
In her book Loes tells a lot about her visits to Houston Texas and the support group meetings she attended there. On one of these meetings she met a transsexual woman from Texas that was very special to her and from that point on, the novel becomes a love story.
Our Dutch friend goes to Houston several times and from the story we get a lot of information about transsexuals and the different ways they are treated in the USA and in the Netherlands. Of course Texas is not the most liberal state in the USA, so the differences are great.
And trans people are not the only ones who face discrimination. To the outside world these two transsexual women together might look like a lesbian couple so they cannot even kiss each other on the mouth in public or walk together too closely or else they might get harassed.
They meet many people who would like to transition, but don't dare to do that in Texas, because they wouldn't be passable enough. And they meet people who see a complete transition to a full time stealth mode life as a woman as the only possibility to handle their gender problem, because they might get read or outed if they don't do a full transition.
Meanwhile the two lovers enjoy some wonderful time together. Love between two transsexuals is a very special thing because they can understand each other so very well. I have personally met a couple of two transsexual women who have been living together for several years now. One of them has had her operation last fall and the other one will be operated this Summer. I don't need to say they get the best support anyone could hope for, helping each other trough the transition process.
Unfortunately the relationship that is described in the book does not work out in the same beautiful way as this love between my two friends. The book is rather open-ended and leaves the reader with a lot of questions. I know Loes is now working on a second novel, so maybe some of those questions will be answered in her next book.
Anyway I think this book is a very useful resource for explaining what is going on in a transsexual's mind. I recognize so much of what she is writing about and she is very open about things even I would hesitate to mention in my columns.
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://eveliensnel.com/audio/LIFE01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
Last week I had to work an extra shift at the bar on our monthly T&T-evening, because we had to man two bars instead of one. The reason for that was we had a very special event: The official presentation of the first book by Loes Vlaming, a Dutch transsexual novelist. Her book is called "Leven tussenin", which means "Life inbetween".
Transsexuals often write about themselves and she is no exception. It is mainly about the period in her life at the end of her Real Life Test. More than a year on female hormones, but still waiting for the operation. It is the same stage in the process where I am at the moment.
But instead of writing a diary, she has chosen to tell about her experiences in the form of a novel. She hopes this will make the subject more accessible to non-transsexuals.
Of course I bought the book. As a matter of fact I bought two copies: One for myself and one for my parents. Although my parents have fully accepted me as their daughter, it is not always easy to talk with them about difficult subjects. A book like this can help them to understand more about my feelings.
In her book Loes tells a lot about her visits to Houston Texas and the support group meetings she attended there. On one of these meetings she met a transsexual woman from Texas that was very special to her and from that point on, the novel becomes a love story.
Our Dutch friend goes to Houston several times and from the story we get a lot of information about transsexuals and the different ways they are treated in the USA and in the Netherlands. Of course Texas is not the most liberal state in the USA, so the differences are great.
And trans people are not the only ones who face discrimination. To the outside world these two transsexual women together might look like a lesbian couple so they cannot even kiss each other on the mouth in public or walk together too closely or else they might get harassed.
They meet many people who would like to transition, but don't dare to do that in Texas, because they wouldn't be passable enough. And they meet people who see a complete transition to a full time stealth mode life as a woman as the only possibility to handle their gender problem, because they might get read or outed if they don't do a full transition.
Meanwhile the two lovers enjoy some wonderful time together. Love between two transsexuals is a very special thing because they can understand each other so very well. I have personally met a couple of two transsexual women who have been living together for several years now. One of them has had her operation last fall and the other one will be operated this Summer. I don't need to say they get the best support anyone could hope for, helping each other trough the transition process.
Unfortunately the relationship that is described in the book does not work out in the same beautiful way as this love between my two friends. The book is rather open-ended and leaves the reader with a lot of questions. I know Loes is now working on a second novel, so maybe some of those questions will be answered in her next book.
Anyway I think this book is a very useful resource for explaining what is going on in a transsexual's mind. I recognize so much of what she is writing about and she is very open about things even I would hesitate to mention in my columns.
2006-05-10
Dennis
"Gee, you are lots of fun! Are you sure you are a girl?"
2006-05-06
Life Inbetween
This month I had to work an extra shift at the bar on our monthly T&T-evening, because we had to man two bars instead of one. We had many special guests this evening. The reason for that was we had a very special event: The official presentation of the first book by Loes Vlaming, a Dutch transsexual novelist. Her book is called "Leven tussenin", which means "Life inbetween". I was stationed at the upstairs bar, in the hall where the event took place, so fortunately I could see everything that happened and I was able to chat with Loes and her publisher.
The official happening started around 9 PM. Yvon introduced everyone and then there were speeches by the publisher and by Loes herself. Loes read a few pages from the book to us about a visit to a transgender support group in Houston Texas, but also about her memories of a visit to the same support group one year earlier, when she was not as passable as she is now. At the time two policemen stopped her and gave her a difficult time. They addressed her with "Sir" and threatened to closely investigate what was real about her and what wasn't. Only her Dutch ID-card prevented the situation from becoming really nasty. I will tell you more about the contents of the book in my 39th column...
Of course I bought it. As a matter of fact I bought two copies: One for myself and one for my parents. Although my parents have fully accepted me as their daughter, it is not always easy to talk with them about difficult subjects. A book like this can help them to understand more about my feelings.
Fortunately DJ-Silvia had recoved enough to be able to take care of the music this evening. By the way, not everybody is pleased by the music and this month people could escape Silvia's loud contribution to the party by going upstairs to the extra bar we had opened for the occasion to have a peaceful conversation. So after the book presentation I soon had a large group of, mainly Belgian, guests at my bar. For them I had to keep the bar open longer than we had planned, but I didn't mind: It was a friendly bunch of people and I could take part in their conversation.
When the upstairs hall had been cleaned up and was close, I still had half an hour left before the community center would close, so I still had plenty of opportunity to dance to Silvia's music on the dance floor.
Previous T&T-evenings: April, March, February, January, December, November, October, September, July, June, May, April 2005, March 2005, February 2005, January 2005, December 2004, November 2004, October 2004, September 2004, August 2004, July 2004, June 2004, May 2004 and April 2004.
The official happening started around 9 PM. Yvon introduced everyone and then there were speeches by the publisher and by Loes herself. Loes read a few pages from the book to us about a visit to a transgender support group in Houston Texas, but also about her memories of a visit to the same support group one year earlier, when she was not as passable as she is now. At the time two policemen stopped her and gave her a difficult time. They addressed her with "Sir" and threatened to closely investigate what was real about her and what wasn't. Only her Dutch ID-card prevented the situation from becoming really nasty. I will tell you more about the contents of the book in my 39th column...
Of course I bought it. As a matter of fact I bought two copies: One for myself and one for my parents. Although my parents have fully accepted me as their daughter, it is not always easy to talk with them about difficult subjects. A book like this can help them to understand more about my feelings.
Fortunately DJ-Silvia had recoved enough to be able to take care of the music this evening. By the way, not everybody is pleased by the music and this month people could escape Silvia's loud contribution to the party by going upstairs to the extra bar we had opened for the occasion to have a peaceful conversation. So after the book presentation I soon had a large group of, mainly Belgian, guests at my bar. For them I had to keep the bar open longer than we had planned, but I didn't mind: It was a friendly bunch of people and I could take part in their conversation.
When the upstairs hall had been cleaned up and was close, I still had half an hour left before the community center would close, so I still had plenty of opportunity to dance to Silvia's music on the dance floor.
Previous T&T-evenings: April, March, February, January, December, November, October, September, July, June, May, April 2005, March 2005, February 2005, January 2005, December 2004, November 2004, October 2004, September 2004, August 2004, July 2004, June 2004, May 2004 and April 2004.
© 1985-2006 E.G. Snel
