English
Nederlands
2006-05-25
Thirty-ninth Column
Tonight my thirty-ninth column was broadcast in Gendertalk #559.
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://eveliensnel.com/audio/LIFE01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
Life Inbetween
Last week I had to work an extra shift at the bar on our monthly T&T-evening, because we had to man two bars instead of one. The reason for that was we had a very special event: The official presentation of the first book by Loes Vlaming, a Dutch transsexual novelist. Her book is called "Leven tussenin", which means "Life inbetween".
Transsexuals often write about themselves and she is no exception. It is mainly about the period in her life at the end of her Real Life Test. More than a year on female hormones, but still waiting for the operation. It is the same stage in the process where I am at the moment.
But instead of writing a diary, she has chosen to tell about her experiences in the form of a novel. She hopes this will make the subject more accessible to non-transsexuals.
Of course I bought the book. As a matter of fact I bought two copies: One for myself and one for my parents. Although my parents have fully accepted me as their daughter, it is not always easy to talk with them about difficult subjects. A book like this can help them to understand more about my feelings.
In her book Loes tells a lot about her visits to Houston Texas and the support group meetings she attended there. On one of these meetings she met a transsexual woman from Texas that was very special to her and from that point on, the novel becomes a love story.
Our Dutch friend goes to Houston several times and from the story we get a lot of information about transsexuals and the different ways they are treated in the USA and in the Netherlands. Of course Texas is not the most liberal state in the USA, so the differences are great.
And trans people are not the only ones who face discrimination. To the outside world these two transsexual women together might look like a lesbian couple so they cannot even kiss each other on the mouth in public or walk together too closely or else they might get harassed.
They meet many people who would like to transition, but don't dare to do that in Texas, because they wouldn't be passable enough. And they meet people who see a complete transition to a full time stealth mode life as a woman as the only possibility to handle their gender problem, because they might get read or outed if they don't do a full transition.
Meanwhile the two lovers enjoy some wonderful time together. Love between two transsexuals is a very special thing because they can understand each other so very well. I have personally met a couple of two transsexual women who have been living together for several years now. One of them has had her operation last fall and the other one will be operated this Summer. I don't need to say they get the best support anyone could hope for, helping each other trough the transition process.
Unfortunately the relationship that is described in the book does not work out in the same beautiful way as this love between my two friends. The book is rather open-ended and leaves the reader with a lot of questions. I know Loes is now working on a second novel, so maybe some of those questions will be answered in her next book.
Anyway I think this book is a very useful resource for explaining what is going on in a transsexual's mind. I recognize so much of what she is writing about and she is very open about things even I would hesitate to mention in my columns.
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You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://eveliensnel.com/audio/LIFE01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
Last week I had to work an extra shift at the bar on our monthly T&T-evening, because we had to man two bars instead of one. The reason for that was we had a very special event: The official presentation of the first book by Loes Vlaming, a Dutch transsexual novelist. Her book is called "Leven tussenin", which means "Life inbetween".
Transsexuals often write about themselves and she is no exception. It is mainly about the period in her life at the end of her Real Life Test. More than a year on female hormones, but still waiting for the operation. It is the same stage in the process where I am at the moment.
But instead of writing a diary, she has chosen to tell about her experiences in the form of a novel. She hopes this will make the subject more accessible to non-transsexuals.
Of course I bought the book. As a matter of fact I bought two copies: One for myself and one for my parents. Although my parents have fully accepted me as their daughter, it is not always easy to talk with them about difficult subjects. A book like this can help them to understand more about my feelings.
In her book Loes tells a lot about her visits to Houston Texas and the support group meetings she attended there. On one of these meetings she met a transsexual woman from Texas that was very special to her and from that point on, the novel becomes a love story.
Our Dutch friend goes to Houston several times and from the story we get a lot of information about transsexuals and the different ways they are treated in the USA and in the Netherlands. Of course Texas is not the most liberal state in the USA, so the differences are great.
And trans people are not the only ones who face discrimination. To the outside world these two transsexual women together might look like a lesbian couple so they cannot even kiss each other on the mouth in public or walk together too closely or else they might get harassed.
They meet many people who would like to transition, but don't dare to do that in Texas, because they wouldn't be passable enough. And they meet people who see a complete transition to a full time stealth mode life as a woman as the only possibility to handle their gender problem, because they might get read or outed if they don't do a full transition.
Meanwhile the two lovers enjoy some wonderful time together. Love between two transsexuals is a very special thing because they can understand each other so very well. I have personally met a couple of two transsexual women who have been living together for several years now. One of them has had her operation last fall and the other one will be operated this Summer. I don't need to say they get the best support anyone could hope for, helping each other trough the transition process.
Unfortunately the relationship that is described in the book does not work out in the same beautiful way as this love between my two friends. The book is rather open-ended and leaves the reader with a lot of questions. I know Loes is now working on a second novel, so maybe some of those questions will be answered in her next book.
Anyway I think this book is a very useful resource for explaining what is going on in a transsexual's mind. I recognize so much of what she is writing about and she is very open about things even I would hesitate to mention in my columns.
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