English
Nederlands
2006-04-02
Thirty-sixth Column
Tonight my thirty-sixth column was broadcast in Gendertalk #554.
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://www.eveliensnel.com/audio/TRUE01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
True Love
I have some good news for you this week: My spouse Julia and I have decided to come back together again.
As a matter of fact, she has already moved in with me.
We are both very happy with this decision.
Being separated for four months has learned us something we should have known all along. We belong together. Of course we have our problems, all of which are caused by me, but we will find a way to solve those.
This has been the third time we have separated and come back together again. So what does that mean? Does it mean we don't know what we want? I think we know that very well. But at times it can get too difficult. I am progressing in my transition and I want to go all the way. Step by step I am approaching my goal: To live as a woman.
And that contradicts everything we wanted when we got married 18 years ago. At the time we really thought we could live together as husband and wife for the rest of our lives. My gender problems were buried six feet below the ground in those days. I didn't even know they were there. I just felt very unhappy and lonely until I met Julia. At a time like that you think your marriage will solve everything and you will live happily ever after.
But that didn't happen. We were happy together, but I still didn't feel good about myself. I often had headaches and somehow I felt there was something wrong with me. It took me a long time to discover my gender problem, buried deeply inside of me. And it took a long time to come out about it to my spouse. But once I had come out about it, the process of my transition started. And it cannot be stopped.
So things started to change. Many things we took for granted when we got married turned out to be no longer true. And that was difficult, both for me and for my spouse. It is very understandable most marriages break during this process, because all this is very harsh to the partner of the transsexual. The transsexual has something to gain: The balance between the gender on the inside and the outside. But the partner is only loosing something.
I think your love has to be very strong to handle a problem like this. And apparently our love is a very strong one. Julia has done so much to help me over the years. But there have been some situations that were too difficult to cope with. Those were the three moments we have separated, because I felt an urge to go on and take my transition one step further and she was not ready to accept that. Difficult moments.
But every time we found out after a while we still wanted to be together. Every time Julia has accepted me the way I am, even with this additional step towards femininity. And once she accepted me, she supported me in every way she could. This is what true love is all about!
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You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://www.eveliensnel.com/audio/TRUE01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
I have some good news for you this week: My spouse Julia and I have decided to come back together again.
As a matter of fact, she has already moved in with me.
We are both very happy with this decision.
Being separated for four months has learned us something we should have known all along. We belong together. Of course we have our problems, all of which are caused by me, but we will find a way to solve those.
This has been the third time we have separated and come back together again. So what does that mean? Does it mean we don't know what we want? I think we know that very well. But at times it can get too difficult. I am progressing in my transition and I want to go all the way. Step by step I am approaching my goal: To live as a woman.
And that contradicts everything we wanted when we got married 18 years ago. At the time we really thought we could live together as husband and wife for the rest of our lives. My gender problems were buried six feet below the ground in those days. I didn't even know they were there. I just felt very unhappy and lonely until I met Julia. At a time like that you think your marriage will solve everything and you will live happily ever after.
But that didn't happen. We were happy together, but I still didn't feel good about myself. I often had headaches and somehow I felt there was something wrong with me. It took me a long time to discover my gender problem, buried deeply inside of me. And it took a long time to come out about it to my spouse. But once I had come out about it, the process of my transition started. And it cannot be stopped.
So things started to change. Many things we took for granted when we got married turned out to be no longer true. And that was difficult, both for me and for my spouse. It is very understandable most marriages break during this process, because all this is very harsh to the partner of the transsexual. The transsexual has something to gain: The balance between the gender on the inside and the outside. But the partner is only loosing something.
I think your love has to be very strong to handle a problem like this. And apparently our love is a very strong one. Julia has done so much to help me over the years. But there have been some situations that were too difficult to cope with. Those were the three moments we have separated, because I felt an urge to go on and take my transition one step further and she was not ready to accept that. Difficult moments.
But every time we found out after a while we still wanted to be together. Every time Julia has accepted me the way I am, even with this additional step towards femininity. And once she accepted me, she supported me in every way she could. This is what true love is all about!
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