English
Nederlands
2006-03-05
Thirty-fourth Column
Tonight my thirty-fourth column was broadcast in Gendertalk #550.
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://www.eveliensnel.com/audio/FANT01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
Fantasy
This week I met someone in a chatroom who had "TV" behind the name.
I guess we all know what that means: If someone puts "TV" behind the name, it means "transvestite" or "crossdresser". It is someone who wants to make a clear statement that the female name and garments do not imply a female body.
People in the chatroom made a bit of fun about the "TV" postfix to her name, but not in a nasty way. This chatroom is part of a very tolerant community and all the regular visitors know about my situation as a transsexual. I don't yell that from the rooftops in all situations. I don't put "TS" behind my name. But it is not a "big" secret, it is just "my little secret". I kept a low profile for a few minutes until I was sure it would be a good idea to come out to this new member of the community about my own situation and then I told her about myself and I gave her some tips about interesting websites and meetings.
It didn't take very long before she requested me to have a private chat on separate channel and I agreed. I felt a girl to girl talk would do her a lot of good. And that turned out to be true. It turned out she was in a rather isolated situation and didn't have contacts with any other transgendered people. At her age of 34 there were really many similarities to my own situation eleven years ago. And I know a contact with a more experienced person would have been a great boon to me at the time.
One of the first things she asked me was about her fantasies about being a prostitute and about being raped. "Are those filthy thoughts? Do you think this isn't normal?" she asked me. Well, of course I could help her with that. First of all. "normal" people are the most boring people I know. And second, her fantasies are not that uncommon.
She proceeded to tell me she loved to go out in the evening in very sexy clothing, with the fantasy in her head she was now soliciting. Of course I had to warn her about this. Being out on the street in sexy clothing is the dark is risky business for any woman. There is always a risk of harassment. And for a crossdresser there is the additional risk that if someone wants to harass you and finds out you don't have a female body, he can get very angry and molest you. Personally I have been harassed on two occasions.
This was clearly new information for her. She had never thought about the risks involved, but she wasn't completely convinced yet. What about the times I was harassed, she asked me, wasn't that arousing? Not even a little bit? -- No it wasn't. In your fantasy everything happens the way you like it. In reality it is quite different.
The first time I was harassed is about three years ago now. I had decided to go out for dinner, dressed up as beautiful as I could. Two man and a woman were waving and hooting at me from a table further down the restaurant. I ignored them. But when I took a seat at the bar, these guys took a seat next to me, one on either side. They would do my operation themselves, they said threateningly and they started to pull on my skirt. I hit one of them in the face and stood up to pay my bill and leave the restaurant. Then they knocked me to the floor. Fortunately the woman who accompanied them called them back. So I had a narrow escape. My pantyhose was destroyed and my legs were scratched, but it could have been much worse!
This story was enough to convince her that there is nothing nice about being harassed. I hope to meet her In Real Life later this month. I would love to help someone to avoid at least some of the mistakes I made in my own life.
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You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://www.eveliensnel.com/audio/FANT01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
This week I met someone in a chatroom who had "TV" behind the name.
I guess we all know what that means: If someone puts "TV" behind the name, it means "transvestite" or "crossdresser". It is someone who wants to make a clear statement that the female name and garments do not imply a female body.
People in the chatroom made a bit of fun about the "TV" postfix to her name, but not in a nasty way. This chatroom is part of a very tolerant community and all the regular visitors know about my situation as a transsexual. I don't yell that from the rooftops in all situations. I don't put "TS" behind my name. But it is not a "big" secret, it is just "my little secret". I kept a low profile for a few minutes until I was sure it would be a good idea to come out to this new member of the community about my own situation and then I told her about myself and I gave her some tips about interesting websites and meetings.
It didn't take very long before she requested me to have a private chat on separate channel and I agreed. I felt a girl to girl talk would do her a lot of good. And that turned out to be true. It turned out she was in a rather isolated situation and didn't have contacts with any other transgendered people. At her age of 34 there were really many similarities to my own situation eleven years ago. And I know a contact with a more experienced person would have been a great boon to me at the time.
One of the first things she asked me was about her fantasies about being a prostitute and about being raped. "Are those filthy thoughts? Do you think this isn't normal?" she asked me. Well, of course I could help her with that. First of all. "normal" people are the most boring people I know. And second, her fantasies are not that uncommon.
She proceeded to tell me she loved to go out in the evening in very sexy clothing, with the fantasy in her head she was now soliciting. Of course I had to warn her about this. Being out on the street in sexy clothing is the dark is risky business for any woman. There is always a risk of harassment. And for a crossdresser there is the additional risk that if someone wants to harass you and finds out you don't have a female body, he can get very angry and molest you. Personally I have been harassed on two occasions.
This was clearly new information for her. She had never thought about the risks involved, but she wasn't completely convinced yet. What about the times I was harassed, she asked me, wasn't that arousing? Not even a little bit? -- No it wasn't. In your fantasy everything happens the way you like it. In reality it is quite different.
The first time I was harassed is about three years ago now. I had decided to go out for dinner, dressed up as beautiful as I could. Two man and a woman were waving and hooting at me from a table further down the restaurant. I ignored them. But when I took a seat at the bar, these guys took a seat next to me, one on either side. They would do my operation themselves, they said threateningly and they started to pull on my skirt. I hit one of them in the face and stood up to pay my bill and leave the restaurant. Then they knocked me to the floor. Fortunately the woman who accompanied them called them back. So I had a narrow escape. My pantyhose was destroyed and my legs were scratched, but it could have been much worse!
This story was enough to convince her that there is nothing nice about being harassed. I hope to meet her In Real Life later this month. I would love to help someone to avoid at least some of the mistakes I made in my own life.
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