English
Nederlands
2006-02-05
Thirty-second Column
Tonight my thirty-second column was broadcast in Gendertalk #546.
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://www.eveliensnel.com/audio/TRAP01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
Trapped
It is now fourteen months ago I got the green light for the transformation of my body from male to female.
That day I was allowed to start HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) This means that I got medication to stop the effects of the male hormones my body is still producing and I got female hormones to replace them.
That was also the day I could officially start my RLT (Real Life Test), which means that I was required to live full-time as a woman and to come out to my environment.
Of course living full-time as a woman was not a problem for me. I had been doing that for several years already. And I had been hoping that I wouldn't have to go through the full real life test because of that.
But that turned out not to be the case: The hospital handles sex change according to a strict protocol and I have not been able to nibble even a second of the required 18 months of real life test.
So I have still 4 months to go. It sounds like I am almost there, doesn't it? It sounds like I am eligible for the SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery) this Summer!
Well, I am afraid it will take a little longer. The only thing that happens after the 18 months real life test is that I will be added at the bottom of the waiting-list for an operation. And due to lack of funding, lack of operating rooms and lack of personnel, it may take another year before it is really my turn.
I can tell you this is difficult to cope with. People often say a transsexual is a female trapped in a male body (or vice-versa) and that is exactly what it feels like at the moment.
There is very little I can do at the moment except wait, wait and wait. It seems like all the great adventures of transitioning are behind me except for that final cut.
I know there is more to transitioning than this. I know the SRS is not the end of the process, but merely the start of a new phase. And I feel soooo ready for that. I can hardly wait to move on.
But I do have to wait. There is nothing I can do about it. And meanwhile I am getting older and older and I see many transsexuals around me, most of them younger than me who do get their operation and disappear from the transgender scene to move on into their lives as new-born women.
And I stay behind, trapped in my male body.
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You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://www.eveliensnel.com/audio/TRAP01.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
It is now fourteen months ago I got the green light for the transformation of my body from male to female.
That day I was allowed to start HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) This means that I got medication to stop the effects of the male hormones my body is still producing and I got female hormones to replace them.
That was also the day I could officially start my RLT (Real Life Test), which means that I was required to live full-time as a woman and to come out to my environment.
Of course living full-time as a woman was not a problem for me. I had been doing that for several years already. And I had been hoping that I wouldn't have to go through the full real life test because of that.
But that turned out not to be the case: The hospital handles sex change according to a strict protocol and I have not been able to nibble even a second of the required 18 months of real life test.
So I have still 4 months to go. It sounds like I am almost there, doesn't it? It sounds like I am eligible for the SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery) this Summer!
Well, I am afraid it will take a little longer. The only thing that happens after the 18 months real life test is that I will be added at the bottom of the waiting-list for an operation. And due to lack of funding, lack of operating rooms and lack of personnel, it may take another year before it is really my turn.
I can tell you this is difficult to cope with. People often say a transsexual is a female trapped in a male body (or vice-versa) and that is exactly what it feels like at the moment.
There is very little I can do at the moment except wait, wait and wait. It seems like all the great adventures of transitioning are behind me except for that final cut.
I know there is more to transitioning than this. I know the SRS is not the end of the process, but merely the start of a new phase. And I feel soooo ready for that. I can hardly wait to move on.
But I do have to wait. There is nothing I can do about it. And meanwhile I am getting older and older and I see many transsexuals around me, most of them younger than me who do get their operation and disappear from the transgender scene to move on into their lives as new-born women.
And I stay behind, trapped in my male body.
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