English
Nederlands
2005-06-26
Sixteenth Column
My sixteenth column has been broadcast in Gendertalk tonight.
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://eveliensnel.nl/audio/MIAMI21.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
Assimilation
Last weekend I went to a theater festival in Rotterdam. The festival had a very original format: 61 actors performed on several locations inside buildings along a street in Rotterdam.
The audience was free to walk the street and ask the actors to do their monologue. So each time they did their act for a small audience of 1 to 6 people inside a room -- quite an intimite setting for a theater play.
I was there with Julia and two very close friends and we went from building to building. We saw about a dozen of acts in one afternoon.
Most of the monologues were about the misery in the lives of the charaters that were enacted. And that made some of the performances seem a little too similar.
But there were acts that were remarkable in one way or another. One act was particularly interesting to me because of the subject matter. It was played by a guy in the age of sixty and it started something like this:
Everybody is a story. Each one of you standing in front of me is a unique story.
I am a story to. A lot of stories, really.
But there is one story I would like to tell you.
That is a story of me -- in a dress!
He told us he had been involved in a radical gay movement at the end of the seventies. They called themselves the 'Rooie Flikkers' ('Red Faggots') and they often dressed up as women for fun, but also to make a political statement.
Instead of assimilating in the society like most homoseksuals tried to do in those days, they stressed the fact that they were different from, or even better than, heteroseksuals.
When Anita Bryant did her anti-gay campaign as a reaction to the human-rights ordinance that passed in Miami-Dade County in Florida, many people in the Netherlands were worried and a large Anti-Anita happening was organized in the Amsterdam Orchestra Building under the name 'Miami Nightmare'.
The 'Rooie Flikkers' took even more radical action. They appeared en masse at a streetcar stop in front of the building, all dressed in frocks and skirts. They managed to shock the audience that felt comfortable to demonstrate against Anita from a safe distance, but was not able to cope with sight of transvestism yet...
I liked his story, but I was very curious whether he would notice anything special about me. After all I used to look like a guy in a dress myself until recently and I am still getting used to being accepted as a woman wherever I go.
If he did notice, he hid it very professionally.
Our friends were also convinced that he never knew how closely his story was related to mine. And throughout the afternoon they noticed how well I was accepted everywhere I went. They had noticed only one guy who stared at me as if he had seen a ghost.
It looks like I am really beginning to blend in as a woman in society. That feels absolutely great, I hadn't thought it possible for a long time!
You can find the complete program in the Gendertalk archive.
Or you can find just my column at:
http://eveliensnel.nl/audio/MIAMI21.mp3
A full transcript of the text is below:
Last weekend I went to a theater festival in Rotterdam. The festival had a very original format: 61 actors performed on several locations inside buildings along a street in Rotterdam.
The audience was free to walk the street and ask the actors to do their monologue. So each time they did their act for a small audience of 1 to 6 people inside a room -- quite an intimite setting for a theater play.
I was there with Julia and two very close friends and we went from building to building. We saw about a dozen of acts in one afternoon.
Most of the monologues were about the misery in the lives of the charaters that were enacted. And that made some of the performances seem a little too similar.
But there were acts that were remarkable in one way or another. One act was particularly interesting to me because of the subject matter. It was played by a guy in the age of sixty and it started something like this:
Everybody is a story. Each one of you standing in front of me is a unique story.
I am a story to. A lot of stories, really.
But there is one story I would like to tell you.
That is a story of me -- in a dress!
He told us he had been involved in a radical gay movement at the end of the seventies. They called themselves the 'Rooie Flikkers' ('Red Faggots') and they often dressed up as women for fun, but also to make a political statement.
Instead of assimilating in the society like most homoseksuals tried to do in those days, they stressed the fact that they were different from, or even better than, heteroseksuals.
When Anita Bryant did her anti-gay campaign as a reaction to the human-rights ordinance that passed in Miami-Dade County in Florida, many people in the Netherlands were worried and a large Anti-Anita happening was organized in the Amsterdam Orchestra Building under the name 'Miami Nightmare'.
The 'Rooie Flikkers' took even more radical action. They appeared en masse at a streetcar stop in front of the building, all dressed in frocks and skirts. They managed to shock the audience that felt comfortable to demonstrate against Anita from a safe distance, but was not able to cope with sight of transvestism yet...
I liked his story, but I was very curious whether he would notice anything special about me. After all I used to look like a guy in a dress myself until recently and I am still getting used to being accepted as a woman wherever I go.
If he did notice, he hid it very professionally.
Our friends were also convinced that he never knew how closely his story was related to mine. And throughout the afternoon they noticed how well I was accepted everywhere I went. They had noticed only one guy who stared at me as if he had seen a ghost.
It looks like I am really beginning to blend in as a woman in society. That feels absolutely great, I hadn't thought it possible for a long time!
2005-06-19
Sailing
Today we went on a sailing trip with our friends. We wanted to go downstream the river Maas from Den Bosch to Heusden. The wind was coming from the East so we would be sailing before the wind.
To get to the river we first needed to pass a low bridge and a lock. While we were waiting in the lock we could put up the mast and prepare the sails.
I have sailed before, so I hoped I would be a good ship's mate, but alas: I did everything wrong.
I was hoisting the main sail, but our captain said it went much too slowly. So he took the halyards from me and pulled the sail up very quickly. "OK, now you can fasten the halyards..." Well, I thought I knew how to fasten a rope, but I got it wrong again.
"With a varying wind like today, you have to fasten everything with a draw loop, so that you can quickly loosen it when the wind changes."
OK, whatever you say captain. I know how to do a draw loop, but I usually call that a Julia knot, because it is the method Julia uses to close plastic bags.
By now it was clear our captain didn't have any good ship's mates aboard, but just three useless girls instead. I could do better by helping our hostess who was preparing a salad inside the cabin.
Nowadays there is something on the water I wasn't used to yet: Water scooters. Those things are a real terror! They make a very loud noise, they criss-cross between everything on the water and if they get a chance they will wet you by making a sharp turn just beside your ship.
When we reached Heusden we anchored in a little harbor and we enjoyed the salad and a couple of glasses of red whine. After that we were drowsy and sleepy, so we took a little nap.
On the way back we used the engine. There was too little wind and the river Maas is a little too busy to try to sail against the wind. I was allowed to sit at the helm, but it was a mixed blessing: All the way back the sun was burning on my back. Priggish as I am, I was only wearing a triangle bikini, so I was mercilessly flogged by the ultra violet rays for an hour and a half. That evening my back was all red and still glowing.
When we reached the lock again, the doors were already open, so we didn't have to wait. It was very busy in the lock: They try to take as many ships as possible in one go. So we were surrounded by other ships on all sides. The captains of the ships who had been waiting for a while were rather bored and in the mood for making jokes about the passengers in other ships. Of course I was afraid to be the victim of mockery once again, but it was no big deal. There was one guy who yelled something about a "bad hair day". That must have been about me. I had taken my scrunchy out of my hair when I went to sleep and my hair must have looked like a mess.
All in all we had a wonderful day. One day like this feels like a week's holiday!
To get to the river we first needed to pass a low bridge and a lock. While we were waiting in the lock we could put up the mast and prepare the sails.
I have sailed before, so I hoped I would be a good ship's mate, but alas: I did everything wrong.
I was hoisting the main sail, but our captain said it went much too slowly. So he took the halyards from me and pulled the sail up very quickly. "OK, now you can fasten the halyards..." Well, I thought I knew how to fasten a rope, but I got it wrong again.
"With a varying wind like today, you have to fasten everything with a draw loop, so that you can quickly loosen it when the wind changes."
OK, whatever you say captain. I know how to do a draw loop, but I usually call that a Julia knot, because it is the method Julia uses to close plastic bags.
By now it was clear our captain didn't have any good ship's mates aboard, but just three useless girls instead. I could do better by helping our hostess who was preparing a salad inside the cabin.
Nowadays there is something on the water I wasn't used to yet: Water scooters. Those things are a real terror! They make a very loud noise, they criss-cross between everything on the water and if they get a chance they will wet you by making a sharp turn just beside your ship.
When we reached Heusden we anchored in a little harbor and we enjoyed the salad and a couple of glasses of red whine. After that we were drowsy and sleepy, so we took a little nap.
On the way back we used the engine. There was too little wind and the river Maas is a little too busy to try to sail against the wind. I was allowed to sit at the helm, but it was a mixed blessing: All the way back the sun was burning on my back. Priggish as I am, I was only wearing a triangle bikini, so I was mercilessly flogged by the ultra violet rays for an hour and a half. That evening my back was all red and still glowing.
When we reached the lock again, the doors were already open, so we didn't have to wait. It was very busy in the lock: They try to take as many ships as possible in one go. So we were surrounded by other ships on all sides. The captains of the ships who had been waiting for a while were rather bored and in the mood for making jokes about the passengers in other ships. Of course I was afraid to be the victim of mockery once again, but it was no big deal. There was one guy who yelled something about a "bad hair day". That must have been about me. I had taken my scrunchy out of my hair when I went to sleep and my hair must have looked like a mess.
All in all we had a wonderful day. One day like this feels like a week's holiday!
2005-06-17
Beautician
Another new experience. Today I went to a beautician for the very first time. My friends have been going on for months about epilating my eyebrows. The eyebrows make a great difference in you female appearance. But I won't fumble around with my brows myself. It is so easy to make mistakes and get a poor result. So I wanted a professional to do it. Anyway my skin could do with a treatment as well, so I decided to go for a complete facial.
I have to admit I was very nervous, because I had no idea about what to expect. But fortunately she was very friendly and patient. So I sat down in the white dentist's chair where I was to be treated like a brave girl...
Too soon! I still had to remove my earrings, my necklace and my blouse. I was allowed to keep on my bra though. After sitting down again and being covered with a blanket, my skin was first treated with a rotating brush. It felt quite good actually and I began to feel much more comfortable. I felt I could trust her and decided to let everything come over me the way she deemed necessary.
After the brushing she started epilating. People had told me this would be painful, but it was not a big deal at all. If you are used to laser hair removals, you can take this without even blinking you eyes. (I kept my eyes comfortably closed and let her go ahead.) It took her quite a lot of time and that is no surprise, because there is a lot of hair growing above my eyes and she had to get the shape right for the first time.
Then my face got a steam-bath. A beam of steam is coming out of a machine and it is directed at your face, while you are comfortably seated in the chair. The steam makes the pores open up, thus making easier to remove blackheads and whiteheads. I thought my face was completely covered with those, but she say it wasn't so very bad at all. And indeed, I have seen my skin improve since I've been using Androcur. Testosterone stimulates the growth of whiteheads or even acne.
The third step was a facial massage. Very relaxing! Again she took ample time to do this and I started to dream away. It is so nice to completely submit yourself to something and just let it happen...
Finally a mask was applied. The mask needs some time to do its work, so she left me alone for a while. The light went off and Sky Radio provided some relaxing music. Now I was completely dozing off and I really started to dream, I nearly fell asleep and I lost all sense of time. I was able to count the number of songs that were played: About five, so I must have waited for about fifteen minutes. The mask was removed with a cleansing milk and finally a rather fatty cream was applied. That was the end of the facial, so I could dress myself again and come downstairs for a cup of tea and to pay the bill. For 25 Euro ($30) she had been working with me intensively for an hour and a half, so I think that is a pretty good deal! I liked all this very much and I am planning on having such a treatment more often in the future...
I have to admit I was very nervous, because I had no idea about what to expect. But fortunately she was very friendly and patient. So I sat down in the white dentist's chair where I was to be treated like a brave girl...
Too soon! I still had to remove my earrings, my necklace and my blouse. I was allowed to keep on my bra though. After sitting down again and being covered with a blanket, my skin was first treated with a rotating brush. It felt quite good actually and I began to feel much more comfortable. I felt I could trust her and decided to let everything come over me the way she deemed necessary.
After the brushing she started epilating. People had told me this would be painful, but it was not a big deal at all. If you are used to laser hair removals, you can take this without even blinking you eyes. (I kept my eyes comfortably closed and let her go ahead.) It took her quite a lot of time and that is no surprise, because there is a lot of hair growing above my eyes and she had to get the shape right for the first time.
Then my face got a steam-bath. A beam of steam is coming out of a machine and it is directed at your face, while you are comfortably seated in the chair. The steam makes the pores open up, thus making easier to remove blackheads and whiteheads. I thought my face was completely covered with those, but she say it wasn't so very bad at all. And indeed, I have seen my skin improve since I've been using Androcur. Testosterone stimulates the growth of whiteheads or even acne.
The third step was a facial massage. Very relaxing! Again she took ample time to do this and I started to dream away. It is so nice to completely submit yourself to something and just let it happen...
Finally a mask was applied. The mask needs some time to do its work, so she left me alone for a while. The light went off and Sky Radio provided some relaxing music. Now I was completely dozing off and I really started to dream, I nearly fell asleep and I lost all sense of time. I was able to count the number of songs that were played: About five, so I must have waited for about fifteen minutes. The mask was removed with a cleansing milk and finally a rather fatty cream was applied. That was the end of the facial, so I could dress myself again and come downstairs for a cup of tea and to pay the bill. For 25 Euro ($30) she had been working with me intensively for an hour and a half, so I think that is a pretty good deal! I liked all this very much and I am planning on having such a treatment more often in the future...
2005-06-12
Fifteenth Column
Tonight my fifteenth column was broadcast in the program Gendertalk at WMBR in Cambridge. The program can be found in the Gendertalk archive, but if you want to hear just the column you can find it here.
A full transcript of the text is below.
Breaking the Law
If you want to express your gender identity in the way you dress or if you crossdress for recreational purposes, you may run into problems with the police. In the past it was illegal almost worldwide for a man to go outside in female attire and these laws are changing only very slowly.
In the Netherlands crossdressing was already legalized in 1978, so I never got into problems with that. But recently I found out that it is still illegal in Belgium, only thirty miles from my home! My Belgian friends have told me that it is illegal, but it isn't prosecuted. I didn't know about that, so I have broken the Belgian laws many times without even knowing it.
In the USA I think it depends on where you go. It wouldn't surprise me at all if crossdressing is still illegal in some of the more conservative states, counties, perishes or cities.
So there you are, driving home from a private party in the safe seclusion of your own car, still in your nicest dress and with make-up on you face when suddenly you are stopped by the police. Of course there are many things you can and should do to avoid such an encounter: Don't drink and drive, don't ignore stop-signs and traffic lights, don't speed! Just behave like a lady.
But you can always be stopped for a routine check.
What should you do?? Don't panic! It doesn't even matter whether crossdressing is illegal or not. If you lose your nerve now, you can only make things worse! Do not give the policemen extra reason to get angry or nervous. For all they know, you could be an Al-Quaida terrorist hiding behind a clean shave and a blond wig. Keep your hands on the wheel, tell them your real name as it appears on your driver's license. Admit to them that you are crossdressing. And above all: Do not try to flee by driving away! Fleeing is the best way to get the story of your behavior on TV, on the front page of the local newspapers or, even worse, to get your name on the second page of the newspaper with a black line around it. You have probably seen these TV shows where a dozen of police cars are in pursuit of a fleeing vehicle. They are always assisted by a helicopter with a TV camera on board. And they always get the fugitive; dead or alive! In several cases I saw on TV it turned out that the driver of the vehicle fled because he was crossdressed and afraid to expose himself.
Worldwide on TV! Do you call that avoiding exposure?
A full transcript of the text is below.
If you want to express your gender identity in the way you dress or if you crossdress for recreational purposes, you may run into problems with the police. In the past it was illegal almost worldwide for a man to go outside in female attire and these laws are changing only very slowly.
In the Netherlands crossdressing was already legalized in 1978, so I never got into problems with that. But recently I found out that it is still illegal in Belgium, only thirty miles from my home! My Belgian friends have told me that it is illegal, but it isn't prosecuted. I didn't know about that, so I have broken the Belgian laws many times without even knowing it.
In the USA I think it depends on where you go. It wouldn't surprise me at all if crossdressing is still illegal in some of the more conservative states, counties, perishes or cities.
So there you are, driving home from a private party in the safe seclusion of your own car, still in your nicest dress and with make-up on you face when suddenly you are stopped by the police. Of course there are many things you can and should do to avoid such an encounter: Don't drink and drive, don't ignore stop-signs and traffic lights, don't speed! Just behave like a lady.
But you can always be stopped for a routine check.
What should you do?? Don't panic! It doesn't even matter whether crossdressing is illegal or not. If you lose your nerve now, you can only make things worse! Do not give the policemen extra reason to get angry or nervous. For all they know, you could be an Al-Quaida terrorist hiding behind a clean shave and a blond wig. Keep your hands on the wheel, tell them your real name as it appears on your driver's license. Admit to them that you are crossdressing. And above all: Do not try to flee by driving away! Fleeing is the best way to get the story of your behavior on TV, on the front page of the local newspapers or, even worse, to get your name on the second page of the newspaper with a black line around it. You have probably seen these TV shows where a dozen of police cars are in pursuit of a fleeing vehicle. They are always assisted by a helicopter with a TV camera on board. And they always get the fugitive; dead or alive! In several cases I saw on TV it turned out that the driver of the vehicle fled because he was crossdressed and afraid to expose himself.
Worldwide on TV! Do you call that avoiding exposure?
2005-06-04
To VU, or not to VU
Before this month's T&T-evening there was an afternoon for the partners again. Of course I was not allowed to go there, but Julia was. She told me it was a good afternoon again where partners found a lot of support from each other.
Because each T&T-evening is busier than the previous one these days, I was expecting a lot of work behind the bar. And it was very busy indeed, although not a new record. I didn't have to feel bored, we sold nearly 600 drinks! Halfway through the evening my feet were already sour and wounded!
I also underwent another laser treatment. And I was hoping for a photo shoot session with professional make-up, because that was promised to me last month. I did get the laser treatment. We are still hoping Lipoxome will help to kill off my white hairs as well, but we don't see much result from it yet, although I did apply it two times a day during six weeks. But the photo shoot didn't take place at all!
The make-up lady and the photographer simply didn't show up...
When most of our guests had gone home, I had the opportunity to have a conversation myself. I spoke with someone who already has had some consultations with a psychologist from Humanitas, but isn't ready for asking the VU in Amsterdam for a treatment. The people at Humanitas say: "Go ahead, start the intake at the VU. The whole process takes so long that you'll have plenty of time to come to a final decision." That is exactly the same they have told me at Humanitas some years ago. I wish I had taken their advice to heart. If I had done that I would be one year further in the process at the VU! But everyone must make his own decisions of course. It wouldn't be right to push some ahead in this difficult choice...
Previous T&T-evenings: May, April, March, February, January, December, November, October, September, August, July, June, May 2004 and April 2004.
Because each T&T-evening is busier than the previous one these days, I was expecting a lot of work behind the bar. And it was very busy indeed, although not a new record. I didn't have to feel bored, we sold nearly 600 drinks! Halfway through the evening my feet were already sour and wounded!
I also underwent another laser treatment. And I was hoping for a photo shoot session with professional make-up, because that was promised to me last month. I did get the laser treatment. We are still hoping Lipoxome will help to kill off my white hairs as well, but we don't see much result from it yet, although I did apply it two times a day during six weeks. But the photo shoot didn't take place at all!
The make-up lady and the photographer simply didn't show up...When most of our guests had gone home, I had the opportunity to have a conversation myself. I spoke with someone who already has had some consultations with a psychologist from Humanitas, but isn't ready for asking the VU in Amsterdam for a treatment. The people at Humanitas say: "Go ahead, start the intake at the VU. The whole process takes so long that you'll have plenty of time to come to a final decision." That is exactly the same they have told me at Humanitas some years ago. I wish I had taken their advice to heart. If I had done that I would be one year further in the process at the VU! But everyone must make his own decisions of course. It wouldn't be right to push some ahead in this difficult choice...
Previous T&T-evenings: May, April, March, February, January, December, November, October, September, August, July, June, May 2004 and April 2004.
2005-06-01
Party Drug
Today I went to the chemist's to collect a new supply of Androcur pills and Estradiol patches. The packaging of Estradiol is looking more jolly every time. They make it look like a party drug:
© 1985-2006 E.G. Snel
