English
Nederlands
2004-05-30
Is that a human?
We took advantage of the last bit of nice weather and went for a bicycle trip. First we headed West, towards Steensel and then we turned North, past Knegsel and Oerle. We came back home around the North side of Veldhoven and along the canal. About 21 miles I think!
The North side of Veldhoven does not look pleasant at all. They are building an awful lot of disgustingly ugly looking houses over there. I would never want to live there! In that area we also discovered a large area with portacabins where apparently, people were living. The area was surrounded by a large fence. What was that? Looked like a place to keep fugitives while deciding whether they can enter our country. Gloomy...
I dressed up nicely for the trip in a short skirt and a halter top. People were staring at me everywhere, but we are used to that. People often react just after I have passed them, so I won't see it, but Julia does. On a corner two man aged about 60 spotted us. One of them said in the local dialect: "Is da ene mens?"
In normal Dutch that sounds like: "Is that a human?", but what he was really asking was: "Is that a man?" So the answer should be: "No, it's not!"
The North side of Veldhoven does not look pleasant at all. They are building an awful lot of disgustingly ugly looking houses over there. I would never want to live there! In that area we also discovered a large area with portacabins where apparently, people were living. The area was surrounded by a large fence. What was that? Looked like a place to keep fugitives while deciding whether they can enter our country. Gloomy...
I dressed up nicely for the trip in a short skirt and a halter top. People were staring at me everywhere, but we are used to that. People often react just after I have passed them, so I won't see it, but Julia does. On a corner two man aged about 60 spotted us. One of them said in the local dialect: "Is da ene mens?"
In normal Dutch that sounds like: "Is that a human?", but what he was really asking was: "Is that a man?" So the answer should be: "No, it's not!"
2004-05-29
Missed a deadline...
Oh dear, I won't make it!
I promised a demonstration by the end of May, but... Couldn't find the time. I'm sorry...
You will have to admit, my weather forecast was right, though! ;-)
I promised a demonstration by the end of May, but... Couldn't find the time. I'm sorry...
You will have to admit, my weather forecast was right, though! ;-)
2004-05-26
A turbulent Tuesday
Today (Tuesday) was once again totally devoted to gender disphoria. Not only did I have an appointment with the psychologist from the VU in Amsterdam, but I also wanted to attend a support group meeting for transsexuals at Humanitas in Rotterdam. A hefty timetable!
And there were also extra hurdles to overcome. It started on Monday evening already, when our car suddenly wouldn't start! We were lucky of course, that this happened the evening before and not at our moment of departure! So yesterday evening first the Renault serviceman duly arrived and when it turned out, that he couldn't fix the problem, the break-down lorry followed, to take our car to the garage.
There was still enough time to come up with a contingency plan. These are the moments you learn who your true friends are. One of our friends took us from Eindhoven to Heeze. In Heeze, we have another friend, who was willing to lend us her car. So we were on our way. Not in our own Twingo, but in a Fiat Cinqueciento. A nice little car and absolutely great, if you are stuck without wheels, but there is a great difference between the Fiat and the Renault! I would never swap our car for this Fiat!
But the Fiat took us to all the places we wanted to go. So we started with a trip to Amsterdam.
On the way there, I rechecked my story I have written for the VU about my gender dysphoric feelings in the past 44 years. It is very difficult to phrase such a story, so I decided, that this would have to do. It is also important, that they get this story timely, so that they can use it to evaluate my case...
This was already the fifth appointment with the psychologist. So one more before I can get the 'Green Light'? ('Green Light' = Permission to start the hormone treatment and prepare for the operation.) Well... No! It turns out, that I will have to undergo another test. That's odd, because I thought, that this test would be 'The Interview' I wrote about earlier, but apparently it is something else. Anyway, we'll see what happens. It only takes more time...
The psychologist is now really digging into the question why I say didn't feel like a girl, when I was a little child. I wrote about this earlier. I knew I was different, but I just didn't know in what way! How can a child know, that it does not fit into it's gender role? That would have to begin with knowing, what a gender role is! I only learned about that much later. It sounds like a nice excuse to delay my treatment even further, but let's just hope, we can solve this as soon as possible.
Then we went on to Rotterdam. My spouse had to rehearse for a musical in Zevenkamp, which is in the North-Eastern corner of the city, while I had to be in Delfshaven, which is near the city center. So we drove to Zevenkamp and had dinner there. Unfortunately, there was not enough time to completely finish my dinner, because I needed to be at Humanitas on time. It seemed to work. I arrived at the subway station Coolhaven ten minutes before the session was due to begin. From the subway station you simply cross the bridge and already you are in the street, where Humanitas has it's office. Only one problem: The bridge was gone! For a moment I was startled. If I would have to walk all the way to the next bridge, I would never make it in time for the support group meeting.
But fortunately, the city counsel had provided a solution: there is a temporary ferry service, that takes you, free of charge, across the Coolhaven. So I arrived just in time.
It was ten months ago I visited with the support group last time. So of course, there were many new group members, I hadn't met before. Sometimes it is difficult to guess who is MTF and who is FTM...
The group has a non disclosure policy, so nobody talks outside the group about what happens there and I won't do that here, of course. It is always great to see these people again and to hear how they have been doing. One member has made all the arrangements to have her operation in Thailand. No VU, no 'Green Light'. Just shell out an amount of money and you can get what you want. So this will be my alternative too, if the VU won't understand, that not every transsexual tells the same story.
There is always criticism in the group about the way of working and the policy of the VU. Quite different from my own experiences so far.
Then I took the boat trip across the Coolhaven in the opposite direction and subwayed back to Zevenkamp. I managed to find the church, were the rehearsals for the musical take place. When I arrived, they were still practicing the songs. It is beginning to sound great! The musical will be played starting October 1st...
And then we took the Fiat back to Eindhoven...
On the way there, I wrote the Dutch version of this entry, so that could be simply copy/pasted to my weblog. The English version had to be created at home.
(You may have noticed, that not all Dutch entries on my weblog are accompanied by an English version. This is because some things are so much connected to the Dutch language, that it would be no use to publish them in English.)
And there were also extra hurdles to overcome. It started on Monday evening already, when our car suddenly wouldn't start! We were lucky of course, that this happened the evening before and not at our moment of departure! So yesterday evening first the Renault serviceman duly arrived and when it turned out, that he couldn't fix the problem, the break-down lorry followed, to take our car to the garage.
There was still enough time to come up with a contingency plan. These are the moments you learn who your true friends are. One of our friends took us from Eindhoven to Heeze. In Heeze, we have another friend, who was willing to lend us her car. So we were on our way. Not in our own Twingo, but in a Fiat Cinqueciento. A nice little car and absolutely great, if you are stuck without wheels, but there is a great difference between the Fiat and the Renault! I would never swap our car for this Fiat!
But the Fiat took us to all the places we wanted to go. So we started with a trip to Amsterdam.
On the way there, I rechecked my story I have written for the VU about my gender dysphoric feelings in the past 44 years. It is very difficult to phrase such a story, so I decided, that this would have to do. It is also important, that they get this story timely, so that they can use it to evaluate my case...
This was already the fifth appointment with the psychologist. So one more before I can get the 'Green Light'? ('Green Light' = Permission to start the hormone treatment and prepare for the operation.) Well... No! It turns out, that I will have to undergo another test. That's odd, because I thought, that this test would be 'The Interview' I wrote about earlier, but apparently it is something else. Anyway, we'll see what happens. It only takes more time...
The psychologist is now really digging into the question why I say didn't feel like a girl, when I was a little child. I wrote about this earlier. I knew I was different, but I just didn't know in what way! How can a child know, that it does not fit into it's gender role? That would have to begin with knowing, what a gender role is! I only learned about that much later. It sounds like a nice excuse to delay my treatment even further, but let's just hope, we can solve this as soon as possible.
Then we went on to Rotterdam. My spouse had to rehearse for a musical in Zevenkamp, which is in the North-Eastern corner of the city, while I had to be in Delfshaven, which is near the city center. So we drove to Zevenkamp and had dinner there. Unfortunately, there was not enough time to completely finish my dinner, because I needed to be at Humanitas on time. It seemed to work. I arrived at the subway station Coolhaven ten minutes before the session was due to begin. From the subway station you simply cross the bridge and already you are in the street, where Humanitas has it's office. Only one problem: The bridge was gone! For a moment I was startled. If I would have to walk all the way to the next bridge, I would never make it in time for the support group meeting.
But fortunately, the city counsel had provided a solution: there is a temporary ferry service, that takes you, free of charge, across the Coolhaven. So I arrived just in time.
It was ten months ago I visited with the support group last time. So of course, there were many new group members, I hadn't met before. Sometimes it is difficult to guess who is MTF and who is FTM...
The group has a non disclosure policy, so nobody talks outside the group about what happens there and I won't do that here, of course. It is always great to see these people again and to hear how they have been doing. One member has made all the arrangements to have her operation in Thailand. No VU, no 'Green Light'. Just shell out an amount of money and you can get what you want. So this will be my alternative too, if the VU won't understand, that not every transsexual tells the same story.
There is always criticism in the group about the way of working and the policy of the VU. Quite different from my own experiences so far.
Then I took the boat trip across the Coolhaven in the opposite direction and subwayed back to Zevenkamp. I managed to find the church, were the rehearsals for the musical take place. When I arrived, they were still practicing the songs. It is beginning to sound great! The musical will be played starting October 1st...
And then we took the Fiat back to Eindhoven...
On the way there, I wrote the Dutch version of this entry, so that could be simply copy/pasted to my weblog. The English version had to be created at home.
(You may have noticed, that not all Dutch entries on my weblog are accompanied by an English version. This is because some things are so much connected to the Dutch language, that it would be no use to publish them in English.)
2004-05-16
Sandwiches and Weblogs
The water-butt is upright again! Instead of the old, rickety garden tile I used last time (causing a disaster), I used two brand new tiles and sandwiched those together. This should be able to hold it?
I got a reaction to my weblog. So I didn't hand out notes with my URL for nothing. My sister sent me a strip she clipped form a Dutch newspaper. I have scanned it in, but to prevent any copyright-issues with Jan Dirk Barreveld or with the newspaper, I won't put it online. You wouldn't be able to read it anyway, because it is in Dutch. It goes like this:
A lady is sitting at her PC. She looks a little stern, which has to do with what she is writing:
"Isn't it ridiculous, that so many people have their own "Reality Soap"? Nowadays it is almost as if the quality of your life is determined by how many people are watching you. "I have an audience, therefore I exist!""
As she reads back her own words on the screen, her face takes on a thinking expression...
Then, with a satisfied smile, she finishes off: "See you tomorrow, dear Weblog!"
I got a reaction to my weblog. So I didn't hand out notes with my URL for nothing. My sister sent me a strip she clipped form a Dutch newspaper. I have scanned it in, but to prevent any copyright-issues with Jan Dirk Barreveld or with the newspaper, I won't put it online. You wouldn't be able to read it anyway, because it is in Dutch. It goes like this:
A lady is sitting at her PC. She looks a little stern, which has to do with what she is writing:
"Isn't it ridiculous, that so many people have their own "Reality Soap"? Nowadays it is almost as if the quality of your life is determined by how many people are watching you. "I have an audience, therefore I exist!""
As she reads back her own words on the screen, her face takes on a thinking expression...
Then, with a satisfied smile, she finishes off: "See you tomorrow, dear Weblog!"
2004-05-11
Once every 17 years
In the USA there is a problem at the moment. It is a plague of insects. That is not nice of course, but there is an interesting aspect to it. This happens once every 17 years! Every 17? Or is it sometimes 16 and sometimes 18? NO! Once every 17 years.
And why is that? (Or what causes this?) Why 17?
Once upon a time evolution 'discovered', that it was a good idea not to litter every year, but to reproduce only every other year, with twice as many offspring. Then other species (that happened to be prays or competitors of the others) 'discovered', that is was a good idea to only mate once every three years. That way there would be a year without competition, or predators, once every six years!
You can take this idea further. And so nature did. Species emerged, that reproduced once every five years. The enemies of the first kind were met only once every ten years and those of the second kind once every fifteen years.
And you can go on like this. Once every 7 years and you'll meet type 1 once every 14 years, type 2 once every 21 years and type 3 once every 35 years...
The species Magicicada neotredecim has skipped 11 and 13 as well and has 'decided' to have sex once every 17 years.
Nature discovers the prime numbers!
This is the beauty of mathematics!
And why is that? (Or what causes this?) Why 17?
Once upon a time evolution 'discovered', that it was a good idea not to litter every year, but to reproduce only every other year, with twice as many offspring. Then other species (that happened to be prays or competitors of the others) 'discovered', that is was a good idea to only mate once every three years. That way there would be a year without competition, or predators, once every six years!
You can take this idea further. And so nature did. Species emerged, that reproduced once every five years. The enemies of the first kind were met only once every ten years and those of the second kind once every fifteen years.
And you can go on like this. Once every 7 years and you'll meet type 1 once every 14 years, type 2 once every 21 years and type 3 once every 35 years...
The species Magicicada neotredecim has skipped 11 and 13 as well and has 'decided' to have sex once every 17 years.
Nature discovers the prime numbers!
This is the beauty of mathematics!
2004-05-09
Party
Yesterday we celebrated my birthday. It was a nice party with a lot of wonderful people. I handed out some leaflets with my URL on it. I hate to promote my site, but it would be a waste if people who are so dear to me didn't know about this web log.
The party was still going strong when I happened to notice the time: It was 4 AM already. Time flies when you are having fun! I had a wonderful time!
The party was still going strong when I happened to notice the time: It was 4 AM already. Time flies when you are having fun! I had a wonderful time!
2004-05-07
A stupid idea
There is a (Dutch language) discussion going on at Jan Marijnissen's weblog about a two party system and a district system for voting. Apparently somebody proposed that...
I am against a district system. I am so glad we don't have that in Holland. A stupid idea to want to imitate other countries, that have a worse system than we have!
In a district system, you may vote for a small party (remember Ralph Nader?), but you can be sure your vote will be lost. That is why the two party system comes right along with the district system...
Another danger of a district system is, that it will stimulate 'not in my backyard'-politics. If my representative is from my region, I will expect him to keep all bad things (nuclear power plants, ammunition factories, etcetera... ) out of my region. Looking from a national perspective, this doesn't help, of course! We should spread the pain equally over the country, not fight because we don't want to do our fair share.
I am against a district system. I am so glad we don't have that in Holland. A stupid idea to want to imitate other countries, that have a worse system than we have!
In a district system, you may vote for a small party (remember Ralph Nader?), but you can be sure your vote will be lost. That is why the two party system comes right along with the district system...
Another danger of a district system is, that it will stimulate 'not in my backyard'-politics. If my representative is from my region, I will expect him to keep all bad things (nuclear power plants, ammunition factories, etcetera... ) out of my region. Looking from a national perspective, this doesn't help, of course! We should spread the pain equally over the country, not fight because we don't want to do our fair share.
2004-05-04
Remembrance day
On my birthday the flags are out all over the country every year. But the flags are flying at half-mast! The 4th. of May is the day we commemorate the people who died in WO II. A funny feeling on your birthday. And it is the same every year. On my birthday I tend to be in a kind of philosophical mood anyway and such a remembrance gives way to even more feelings.
When I was a child, I used to hate this commemoration. "Why would I be silent for two minutes? It won't bring those people back alive!" And that's true. But still this ceremony is a good thing. Use those two minutes to think.
Think! Look around you! People are fighting each other everywhere! And why? It is so useless. "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth", says the Bible. Wrong!!! If every murder has to be revenged, the war will never end. Think!
When I was a child, I used to hate this commemoration. "Why would I be silent for two minutes? It won't bring those people back alive!" And that's true. But still this ceremony is a good thing. Use those two minutes to think.
Think! Look around you! People are fighting each other everywhere! And why? It is so useless. "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth", says the Bible. Wrong!!! If every murder has to be revenged, the war will never end. Think!
Birthday
Yes, this is my birthday!
And I already got my first present:
A beautiful, long, silver necklace!
Thank you, Julia!!
And I already got my first present:
A beautiful, long, silver necklace!
Thank you, Julia!!
2004-05-02
Picture
This morning I discovered a nice picture of myself on the Internet via Paula's website.
That's me in my jeans jacket. With an ample supply of wine and cigarets within my reach ;-)
This picture was made during the shooting of the program "Kamphues maakt vrienden" ("Kamphues meets new friends"). In the TV program there is only a single shot of me, not even two seconds long. But as you can see I was right there when the interviews were made...
That's me in my jeans jacket. With an ample supply of wine and cigarets within my reach ;-)
This picture was made during the shooting of the program "Kamphues maakt vrienden" ("Kamphues meets new friends"). In the TV program there is only a single shot of me, not even two seconds long. But as you can see I was right there when the interviews were made...
Twenty years younger
Saturday we had another T&T-evening and this month that was a heavy job for me! I was the barkeeper, together with two great girls. It is really a complete extra 8-hour day of work. We start at 7 PM to make everything ready for the guests and we finish cleaning up when they have gone at 3 AM.
As soon as I got out of our little Renault Twingo, the excitement started. Two boys, five and nine years of age were watching me as I got out. "It's a boy!", said the elder one.
Well, it is pity, that he read me. But when he called me a "boy", he underestimated my age by one or more decades. So I can consider this a compliment ;-)
After that it was just a nice evening. There were many new people present this month. In the afternoon there had been a meeting for partners of transvestites and transsexuals and I think many of the partners were there to experience such an evening for the first time. My spouse also attended that meeting and confirmed this. There was one partner who had said, that she would like to "give this evening a try", but that she probably wouldn't be able to bare it for long. But she did! She stayed for several hours! Yes, these evenings are much better, than many outsiders can imagine...
Of course I had chosen shoes with low heels, but still standing and walking all evening is very tiring. At the end of the evening, my legs were killing me!
As soon as I got out of our little Renault Twingo, the excitement started. Two boys, five and nine years of age were watching me as I got out. "It's a boy!", said the elder one.
Well, it is pity, that he read me. But when he called me a "boy", he underestimated my age by one or more decades. So I can consider this a compliment ;-)
After that it was just a nice evening. There were many new people present this month. In the afternoon there had been a meeting for partners of transvestites and transsexuals and I think many of the partners were there to experience such an evening for the first time. My spouse also attended that meeting and confirmed this. There was one partner who had said, that she would like to "give this evening a try", but that she probably wouldn't be able to bare it for long. But she did! She stayed for several hours! Yes, these evenings are much better, than many outsiders can imagine...
Of course I had chosen shoes with low heels, but still standing and walking all evening is very tiring. At the end of the evening, my legs were killing me!
© 1985-2006 E.G. Snel
