Of These, Hope
By Angel

Part I: Gethsemane

Why does every day in this quadrant feel like déjà vu?

"Alien ship, this is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the federation starship Voyager. We want to negotiate passage through your space. It would cut a large part of our journey."

"We do not wish to negotiate over a com channel, Captain Kathryn Janeway. We will allow one of your shuttlecraft to board our vessel. Come alone."

"They have cut communications, Captain." Tuvok said.

"Is it me, or were those the most hideous looking creatures we have ever encountered?" Kathryn asked her bridge crew. One look at their faces told her all she needed to know.

"It would not be a prudent course of action to go alone, Captain." Tuvok noted.

"I know. Hail them again."

"They are arming weapons, Captain."

"Red Alert. Shields up. Try hailing again."

"No response."

"I can't risk the safety of the entire crew in an armed battle. We are no match for them. If we can prevent this by my negotiating with them, so much the better. I'll go alone."

"As you wish, Captain."

She would soon regret that decision.

~~~~~

"Tell me...," the alien barked as he struck her face with his bare hand, "what...," another blow almost knocked Kathryn unconscious. The sharp pain of her skin tearing under the relentless beating was becoming almost unbearable. "I want...," the alien picked her up off the floor and crudely put her back on the chair. "to know!" He grabbed her chin and forced her to look into his ugly face as he barked "Now!"

She didn't know what he wanted to know. She just knew she would die of pain if this continued any longer. The alien grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her back. She could hear the cold snap of her bones breaking, a sharp pain shot up all the way to her chest and Kathryn gasped. She felt tears stinging her eyes, but she didn't want to give her attacker the satisfaction of crying. He let go of her arm by flinging his body forward and pushing her toward the ground. She couldn't use her arm to break her fall, her face hit the concrete floor and she lost consciousness.

She woke up an undefined amount of time later in a cell. Her body ached in places she didn't even know she had. She couldn't move and only one of her eyes would open. Her vision was blurry and she blinked a couple of times, trying to focus on her surroundings. Then she noticed another one of those monsters leaning over her.

Kathryn had seen many an ugly species in her life of space travel, but she could not remember ever seeing anything as ugly as these. The alien now staring at her had a large bulgy head, with shiny blotches protruding from it, which seemed like they were about to pop open. In fact, one of them did, a yellowish sickly looking pus suppurating out. It didn't have any hair, instead its large ears grew all the way to the back of its head. It had sharp pointy teeth, much like Ferengi have, all a different length and shape and all covered in yellow and brown stains. It had no neck, the ridiculously large head seemed to be popped right on top of its shoulders, its pointy chin poking into its chest.

"How do you feel?" it asked. This monster had a soft, female sounding voice and much to Kathryn's surprise, it actually sounded friendly. Of course, this might very well be some kind of trick, an alternate way to get information from her.

"What do you care," she said. Or attempted to say. With her swollen lips it sounded more like 'vat soo foo kjair'.

"Maybe you should not talk yet," the monster replied and smiled faintly at her.

It grabbed a damp cloth and cleaned some blood off her face. The coolness of the cloth felt like heaven on Kathryn's battered skin.

"Don't worry. I am here to take care of you. They have instructed me to not let you die under any circumstance." It (she?) sighed. "I'm sorry," it added. "I am so sorry."

Kathryn started to think this one was actually sincere. Maybe they're not all crude bullies, she thought. She wanted to ask questions, but she was too worn out and soon fell back asleep.

When she woke up again, the monster was still there with her in the cell.

"Feeling better yet?" she asked. "They'll probably not be back for you for a couple of days. They are involved in a battle."

Kathryn found she could speak again, the swelling in her lips had decreased. "Why are you still here?" she asked.

"I live here, in the cell blocks. I opposed to their ways and for that they have sentenced me to a life time of taking care of prisoners. I haven't seen a star for seven years. But this is the first time I have ever shared a cell with a creature as beautiful as you", she continued. "Where did you come from? Do all your people look like this?"

I guess I would seem gorgeous to these things. God, they are ugly, Kathryn thought.

"Yes," she replied. "We all look like this. What is your name?"

"I don't really have one. They never gave me a name. They call me Prisoner Unit 1. I have only been here for nine years. I wasn't born on this planet."

"Where are you from then?"

"I don't know. I have no recollection of anything that happened to me before I came here. I just know I am among revolting, hideous creatures. I hate them and I hate myself. I cannot stand it."

"I take it you don't have a mirror in here then," Kathryn mumbled.

"No," the creature responded "but I can describe what you look like and what condition you are in. The bruises in your face have turned from blue to yellow. The swellings around your mouth have decreased. I'm afraid your arm is broken though and you may have internal bleedings, I can't really tell. Can you move at all?"

Move? Kathryn thought as she felt her whole body aching with pain at the mere thought of moving. "No, I cannot move!" she replied crudely.

"I'm sorry," the alien said. "At least you'll have a couple of days to heal. Let me tell you this, Captain Kathryn Janeway of the federation starship Voyager. I'll do anything in my power to get you out of here."

Over the next couple of days Kathryn was slowly recovering from her many wounds. The alien taking care of her had given her most of her own food as well as Kathryn's share. She cleaned her bandages every day and washed her face and hands. She reminded Kathryn of a friend she had had as a little girl. One day, Kathryn had fallen out of a tree and scratched her face open. She didn't want to go home and tell her parents, they had warned her so many times about climbing trees. Her friend Erin had cleaned her wounds and put moisturizer on it, before she went of to search for a dermal regenerator which she was sure was lying around in her parents' house somewhere. But before she made it back, Kathryn had been found by her sister who had laughed in her face and dragged her back home.

Kathryn named 'her' alien friend Erin, after all 'Prisoner Unit 1' wasn't much of a designation. One day, Kathryn had woken up when she felt a soft hand caressing her face. She didn't open her eyes, pretended to still be asleep. She didn't want to actually see Erin touching her, but she enjoyed feeling it. Despite herself, Kathryn felt somehow attracted to this creature. She may be ugly, but she seems to be as much a prisoner as I am. Maybe more so, as she is also a prisoner of her own body.

The caresses ended and Kathryn opened her eyes. "Good morning," she mumbled.

"Feeling better?" Erin asked in response. "Maybe you would like something to eat?"

Kathryn hated the food these aliens supplied to her, but it did make her feel better to eat so she let Erin help her get some food inside.

"Tell me about your crew." Erin said.

"What do you want to know?" Kathryn asked.

"Anything. I would just like to know more about your species, and the people in your life."

"Not all the members of my crew are of the same species I am, although most of them are." Kathryn said, seeing her beloved friends pass through her mind. She missed them more than anything right now, realizing that they were her family almost more than her real family had ever been. Chakotay, her dear friend and first officer, was like the brother she never had. Tuvok, who always kept her in line with his Vulcan logic, was like a dear uncle and always there for her when she needed him. Tom was like a rebellious cousin, Harry like a son. B'Elanna was like a sister, they disagreed just as much as she and Phoebe had always done, but loved each other none the less. And Seven... the bond she had formed with Seven was something special altogether.

She told Erin about her crew and her heart ached as she realized she may never see them again. Even if she ever made it out of here, there was no guarantee they were still alive.

Later that day, her assailant had returned. She was dragged out of the prison cell, back to the room she had been in before. The room where she was beaten up. There were two more aliens standing there, looking on.
Kathryn was slammed into a chair, the first alien grabbed her upper arms and gnarled in her face.

"You have lied to us! You never knew anything! You were not who you pretended to be, Captain Kathryn Janeway!"

Kathryn didn't understand what they were on about now. She had told them from the start, she didn't know anything.

"Do you think you can lie to us and get away with it?" the alien continued. He walked toward a table and grabbed a metal rod, then took the rod and held it in a fire that was blazing in a corner. Kathryn understood what was coming, she had seen the burn mark on Erin's chest. But she could not anticipate how much it hurt to be branded. She screamed in agony when the alien pressed the red glowing rod into her chest. She could smell the scent of her own flesh burning, it made her feel sick.

"You cannot defy me!" her assailant yelled. He turned back to face her, then pulled the chair from under her, so she thumped rather clumsily to the floor. He grabbed her by the hair and pulled her up again. "You. Can. Not. Defy. Me." He hissed in her face, then he hurled her toward the other two aliens, standing in the corner. She landed in front of their feet, she looked back at the first alien who was holding most of her hair in his hand. "Have your way with her," he told the other two, then turned and left the room.

Afterward, Kathryn could hardly remember what happened. She was in so much pain, it was hard for her to distinguish between the beatings. She had passed out several times, only to be brought back by having ice cold water slammed in her face. They had given her several more burn marks, broken her other arm, thumped her so hard in the stomach she had trouble breathing and pulled out the rest of her hair, all the while laughing at her and telling her she would never get out of their imprisonment.

Erin was on the verge of tears when Kathryn was brought back to the cell. She once again cleaned all the blood from her body and tended to her wounds as best she could without medical supplies.

"I need to get you out of here, fast." She told Kathryn. "I don't think you'll survive this much longer."

Kathryn wasn't able to respond, her mouth was beaten shut. She had lost several teeth and the taste of blood in her mouth made her nauseous. Erin was right, she wouldn't survive another beating. But right now, death seemed to be the better option. She realized Voyager stood little chance against these aliens and had probably left their space or the rest of the crew had been taken prisoner as well. She made a mental note to ask Erin if she knew anything about it as soon as she was able to speak again.

Several days went by in relative peace before Kathryn felt somewhat human again. She was still in an amazing amount of pain, but she no longer felt she was going to die. Didn't want to die, in fact, she wanted out of here and revenge on these creatures. But of course she was powerless and that made her want to scream in frustration.

Erin had convinced her that if Voyager was taken captive, the crew would have been put here as well, so they must either be dead or still out there.
Apparently, these aliens, the Kad Pu were divided up in a Southern and Northern region who had gotten into a silly dispute over something and ended up in a brutal war with each other. Every unknown vessel, such as Voyager, was seen as part of the enemy and thus as a threat. Usually, the ship was just blown up, but occasionally the Captain was taken in captive to be interrogated, as the Kad Pu believed they may posses vital information about their enemy, although they seldom did.

Why they didn't just kill her, Kathryn did not know.

Erin had slipped out of the cell and had been gone for a couple of hours when Kathryn started to wonder where she went and if she would come back. What would I do if she doesn't come back? Kathryn asked herself. But before she could answer her own question, Erin returned. She looked flushed and agitated.

"Kathryn, listen, I found a way for you to escape, but we must leave now. Can you walk?"

"I'll try," Kathryn answered as she carefully put weight on her battered legs. But then a realization dawned on her.

"Erin, you won't survive the beatings they'll give you once they find out I'm gone. I can't let you do this."

"Kathryn, please, what happens to me doesn't matter. Don't you see what you have given me? Knowing that there is a race of beings as beautiful and peaceful as you has given me a whole new realm of things to dream about. It is more than anything I could have ever hoped for. If I die now, I'll die happy, knowing that you are safe. Now come on, let's go."

Kathryn leaned heavily on Erin as they crawled their way through a small tunnel.

"One of the prisoners dug this tunnel to escape. He died before he could make an attempt, but they never discovered the tunnel. Only I did. And I have been waiting for a chance to use it." Erin explained. She also explained that sometimes during battle, part of the crew would escape in pods and hope to be found by another ship. Most of the pods were captured or destroyed by the enemy, but sometimes a pod would make it back. These pods then were taken to the cell block to be repaired and refueled by the prisoners. Erin had found such a pod, waiting for repairs. She had stored it with as much water and food supplies as she could find, but since the pod wasn't repaired yet, she could not tell how long the oxygen supplies would last.
Yet, it seemed unlikely that another chance of escape would occur before Kathryn found her death in the hands of these ghastly aliens.

They made it to the end of the tunnel, which lead to a hallway about ten feet below. "It's quite a jump," Erin said, "but if the exit had been any lower, I'm sure it would have been detected by now, so I guess we should be thankful. Wait here."

Kathryn couldn't imagine surviving a ten feet drop in her current condition. Erin swung her feet over the edge, held on to the edge for a while and then led herself drop to the floor. Her landing made a loud thump that echoed through the hallways.

"Psst, Kathryn," she whispered. "Do what I did, hang on to the edge before you let yourself fall, it'll reduce your speed. I'll catch you down here."

Kathryn did what she was told and almost fainted when her full body weight was hanging on her broken arms. She let herself drop and landed softly in Erin arms. She was just about to thank her lucky stars that she didn't break her legs as well, when they heard footsteps coming toward them.

"They might have heard us," Erin whispered. "Come on, we need to get moving." Erin half carried Kathryn through the hallway and turned a corner, only to see two aliens coming toward them. "Damn!" she muffled and turned in the other direction. Immediately, the two aliens behind them opened fire. Erin started running, dragging Kathryn along, who could barely take the agony. Her world turned black a couple of times, but she managed to stay conscious. They turned another corner and faced a small door, which apparently Erin had a key for. She opened the door, pushed Kathryn in and locked the door behind them.

"We don't have much time," she said. The room was dark and it took Kathryn some time to adjust her eyesight. Then she noticed a small, battered escape pod in front of a launch door. Erin opened the hatch of the pod and helped Kathryn inside.

"Go find your people, Kathryn." She said before she closed the hatch. "If anything you have told me about them is true, I'm sure they'll still be looking for you."

"I'll be back for you, I promise." Kathryn said.

Erin nodded and closed the hatch. Kathryn couldn't see what happened next, as the pod didn't have a window or view screen. It was barely larger than she herself was and there was no room to move. She could just turn around and move her arms enough to open the little chambers around the pod in which Erin had put water and a little food. She quickly felt the pull of motion as the pod started off. It increased velocity fast and Kathryn felt herself become weightless once it reached warp speed. A sudden calmness overcame her as she realized that all she could do now was wait for Voyager to find her. Or the enemy to find her and kill her. Either way she was powerless to do anything about it. Her pain and fatigue soon overcame her and she fell asleep.

When she woke up she was barely able to breath. The pod must have run out of oxygen already. Kathryn's mind raced, but she couldn't think of anything to do. Dying of oxygen depletion in an escape pod wasn't exactly the kind of end Kathryn had hoped for. But at least she would die in freedom, that was the gift that Erin had given her. And that was the thought that sustained her in her final moments.

On to Part II: Cinderella / Back to fanfic / Take me home